#and i don’t feel like i can vent except to maybe 2-3 people i know

[m-e-w-666]

i’m so tired i feel like no one around me wants to talk about palestine and i’m tired of trying to make people care, i’m a bit tired in general so i think i need a week or so of break

[wherewhereare]

@formerdetective 's View on the TIWTTFL bonus songs “Obsessed,” “Getting Warmer,” and “Splash” as a Trilogy (Parts 1 and 2 of 3 parts)

Credit: @formerdective.  Direct extract from her blog.

The song "obsessed" confuses me, I can't wrap my head around it in context to B & G's relationship.

— Asked by Anonymous

Okay, I look at the bonus songs “Obsessed,” “Getting Warmer,” and “Splash” as a trilogy. This is just my own interpretation, obviously, but here you go!

Gwen was a few weeks into the writing process when she got back to the Voice in late June. Which, it seems, means she was starting to heal a bit but also, her emotions were right at the surface. She was feeling everything really acutely, you know what I’m saying?

So then she gets to the set and here’s this guy. He’s her favorite co-worker, she’s had a crush on him since the day they met, practically, and she finds out not only is he single now, he’s also dealing with literally the exact same thing she is. So on top of liking him for all the reasons she liked him before, and they’re both available now, but he’s also maybe the only person in her life that can truly relate to what she’s going through. For a person who is already super intense, that is just so much.

Because of this shared connection on top of liking him (in whatever way), I think probably those days on the voice set they spent all of their time together, and even though they were both still really raw it started being more about each other than about venting about their exes/situations. And then, a kiss that was literally life-changing. (Or maybe an evening of kissing, let’s be real.)

And this is where Obsessed comes in. They’ve been hanging out so much, and the energy between them is totally intense. One lyric: “Cuz we keep locking eyes.”

And by this point, she likes him so much, it’s completely overwhelming. I think in the song “Obsessed” she’s trying to convince herself it’s not about him, he’s just a distraction, someone/something to keep her mind off of her problems. “She’s chasing a feeling and she can’t turn it off.” And the reason I think she’s trying to convince herself comes from the lyrics, “I’m pretending I’m falling in love” and then “Living in a dream don’t mean anything, my brain’s unorganized.” So she feels like she’s living in a dream when they’re hanging out? That’s major. She’s so into it that she literally doesn’t even want to go home, she just turns the car around to go hang with him instead. (I know this song seems super sexual but she might really just mean hanging out with him. Or maybe making out….I kind of feel like there was some making out.)

And I think she was trying to convince herself because she was freaked out. “There’s no way in the world that I would ever think that I would have this feeling that I’m having right now. WHAT!?” Like it had been a looong time since she was looking forward to seeing someone like this. And when she didn’t expect it at all. Had to freak bb out.

Anyway, not that you asked, but then we get to “Getting Warmer” where she seems to have accepted he’s not just a distraction, she actually really likes him. They are in similar situations, and they are such similar people, it seems like they probably talked a lot about having partners who lied–major, longterm lies, and were just generally not very loving, supportive people. Which is fine, except B/G are such kind and affectionate people there’s some compatibility issues. Which I’m guessing they vented about a lot. So knowing that he was suffering for the same reasons she was, which implies he wanted the same things she wanted…on top of really liking him…she’s like, woah, maybe this could like, be a real thing. But she was still so insecure, I think she really thought maybe he was just using her as a rebound…since as many people have pointed out to me, he was not as far along in his healing at this point (July). So in Getting Warmer Gwen’s basically asking him, do you like me, because I like you and I think this could be something.

And finally Splash…she realizes this is too intense, too perfect to not be real, and so what the hell, she’s diving in. By beautiful coincidence, I have read a lot about yogic philosophy and Kundalini energy is sexual, but it’s also a path to enlightenment. In the song she’s literally singing about how this energy between them is spiritual…like the universe has put them together. And she’s feeling so good because of him, so she’s decided it needs to happen. Like she said after listening to this song on repeat during her vacation, her life changed forever. I think it really was her way of convincing herself he was worth the risk. Basically I think Obsessed is about how much she likes him, but she’s trying to convince herself it’s just physical attraction, or just a crush, something to distract her because she’s tired of feeling bad.

1.1.1  Obsessed (Part 1 of a 3 part trilogy)

Credit: @formerdective.  Direct extract from her blog.

Gwen was a few weeks into the writing process when she got back to the Voice in late June. Which, it seems, means she was starting to heal a bit but also, her emotions were right at the surface. She was feeling everything really acutely, you know what I’m saying?

So then she gets to the set and here’s this guy. He’s her favorite co-worker, she’s had a crush on him since the day they met, practically, and she finds out not only is he single now, he’s also dealing with literally the exact same thing she is. So on top of liking him for all the reasons she liked him before, and they’re both available now, but he’s also maybe the only person in her life that can truly relate to what she’s going through. For a person who is already super intense, that is just so much.

Because of this shared connection on top of liking him (in whatever way), I think probably those days on the voice set they spent all of their time together, and even though they were both still really raw it started being more about each other than about venting about their exes/situations. And then, a kiss that was literally life-changing. (Or maybe an evening of kissing, let’s be real.)

And this is where Obsessed comes in. They’ve been hanging out so much, and the energy between them is totally intense. One lyric: “Cuz we keep locking eyes.”

And by this point, she likes him so much, it’s completely overwhelming. I think in the song “Obsessed” she’s trying to convince herself it’s not about him, he’s just a distraction, someone/something to keep her mind off of her problems. “She’s chasing a feeling and she can’t turn it off.” And the reason I think she’s trying to convince herself comes from the lyrics, “I’m pretending I’m falling in love” and then “Living in a dream don’t mean anything, my brain’s unorganized.” So she feels like she’s living in a dream when they’re hanging out? That’s major. She’s so into it that she literally doesn’t even want to go home, she just turns the car around to go hang with him instead. (I know this song seems super sexual, but she might really just mean hanging out with him. Or maybe making out….I kind of feel like there was some making out.)

And I think she was trying to convince herself because she was freaked out. “There’s no way in the world that I would ever think that I would have this feeling that I’m having right now. WHAT!?” Like it had been a looong time since she was looking forward to seeing someone like this. And when she didn’t expect it at all. Had to freak bb out.

1.1.2  Getting Warmer (Part 2 of a 3 part trilogy)

Credit: @formerdective.  Direct extract from her blog.

Anyway, not that you asked, but then we get to “Getting Warmer” where she seems to have accepted he’s not just a distraction, she actually really likes him. They are in similar situations, and they are such similar people, it seems like they probably talked a lot about having partners who lied–major, longterm lies, and were just generally not very loving, supportive people. Which is fine, except B/G are such kind and affectionate people there’s some compatibility issues. Which I’m guessing they vented about a lot. So knowing that he was suffering for the same reasons she was, which implies he wanted the same things she wanted…on top of really liking him…she’s like, woah, maybe this could like, be a real thing. But she was still so insecure, I think she really thought maybe he was just using her as a rebound…since as many people have pointed out to me, he was not as far along in his healing at this point (July). So in Getting Warmer Gwen’s basically asking him, do you like me, because I like you and I think this could be something.

[multiplicity-positivity]

autistic anon here again. I didn’t include this part in the first ask because it would’ve been a bit too long if I did but. I guess I’ll go on a bit of a vent/rant now.

I have this thing where. Idk how to explain it. I guess my personality kind of changes?. Or at least the way I handle my emotions does? I thought it was masking at first but it was making me unable to really “fit in” and being ostracized regardless of how hard I tried or how I tried to change how I acted, so then I found emotional dysregulation and realized actually I’m terrible at masking. Except I do mask over text because I change my speech style based on communities/people.

But with my emotions sometimes I’ll be more angry and upset and other times I’ll be more patient and informative and other times I just panic really easily and other times I’ll just shove away any problems to try and be fine and I just don’t. Really know how to explain it?. I don’t know if my personality itself shifts because I don’t know if I *have* a personality due to all of these different emotions. Which I thought was a masking thing but now I genuinely can’t tell. The best way I could describe it is unpredictable.

it feels. Less like different people controlling me and more like I myself change. It’s not just a mask like. Masking. It’s that my very way of handling my emotions changes and I don’t know why or how. Maybe it’s just a part of emotional dysregulation I’m not sure.

Like even just taking tests or quizzes for fun. My answers can completely change within like days of themselves and not because I grew as a person but because I’m in a different “state/personality” from when I first took it?

I’m too disconnected to know if anything happens or if I get amnesia or anything from these things. I don’t usually even realize it it just. Happens. The only reason I noticed is because of how I was constantly ostracized for it no matter what I tried and how I genuinely couldn’t explain my personality. (And I think I’d explain it differently at times??? Like sometimes it’s more. Nothingness. And sometimes it’s more angry and impulsive. And sometimes more withdrawn. But I can’t. Remember? Right now I feel more empty so that’s the main thing I can remember due to emotional disconnect.)

I don’t know…. I don’t think I have obvious shifts and I don’t experience things in 3rd person so I never really considered any sort of multiplicity. But I can’t really explain how I change so much.

Can you. Experience different shifts/personalities. In first person? Like. Instead of someone else taking over your body. You become someone else? Or at least it feels like that?.

like. To explain.

Mental State #1 went into a panic and retreated, before going to bed.

Mental State #2 I woke up as. It completely dismissed anything related to the thing that panicked #1 in favor of remaining completely content.

Mental State #3 is very analytical and thinks about what panicked #1 without getting as carried away.

Mental state #1 is back again and more stable but still a bit. All over the place? I guess? And just does their thing. I think they’re more unstable from what I’ve been able to tell.

(I have more states than in the example these are just the ones I could identify. The main thing is that. Instead of my mindset changing or evolving. It feels like different people with different mindsets but I am all of those people in the moment but if you ask me to remember what I felt as them or specifics then idk you tell me. If that. Makes sense.)

honestly your guess is as good as mine as to whether this is just emotional dysregulation or something else entirely I do not know what this is. It’s not masking I know that for a fact.

Hey, so we’ll be honest here, these questions may be a bit outside of our wheelhouse and would be best directed towards a therapist or mental health professional. I suppose what we can say is:

Experiencing different emotional states, a broad range of emotions, or feeling different emotions at different times or in different situations, is normal, even for singlets. Most experiences different emotions and emotional shifts from time to time. Singlets can also experience conflicted emotions, and can be baffled when looking back at how they behaved in certain situations (“I can’t believe I acted that way,” “That was so out of character for me,” “I wasn’t feeling like myself at that time,” etc)

Some systems do experience switching and passive influence as “I become a different person” or “My personality changes completely” rather than “I switched with another person who took my place.” We’d venture to say that this form of experiencing switches is quite common. We also think that many singlets may experience something similar, especially if they have a personality disorder that may be influencing these shifts.

We will say that for many parts in our own system, we also do not experience life in third person. When we are dissociating or coconscious while another alter is fronting, it’s more like watching through my eyes and ears while someone else is in control. Life may seem blurry, hazy, muddled, or far away. And we do occasionally get this feeling of being outside of our body kind of floating above it. But personally, we don’t experience this “third person view” very often (just sharing some of our experience in case it may help).

If emotional dysregulation is a big problem for you, we’d really recommend attempting some work with dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). It’s been really useful so far for our own system! You don’t have to find a DBT-informed therapist in order to do some DBT work on your own. We’ve gotten a lot of use from this workbook (<- hyperlink) which is available on Amazon.

Okay so in the end, yes, it’s possible for systems to experience switches as personality shifts as in “I become totally different people/my personality changes drastically.” However, singlets also may experience this. So ultimately it will be up to you to determine whether or not these experiences contribute to potential multiplicity for yourself.

Sorry if this response is confusing or rambly. We weren’t quite sure what all this ask is asking. But we hope something here will prove useful for you.

[redheadbigshoes]

Sorry I just want to vent about something….the past week I’ve seen multiple posts come up on my dash about how lesbians can have sex with men because “you can have sex with someone you’re not attracted to”.

As a late bloomer lesbian (shoutout to comphet), I find that hard to fathom. I’ve had sex with men before realizing my sexuality but one of the most agonizing things about being a late bloomer lesbian is having to live with the fact that I put myself and my body through all that; I can never take any of those experiences back no matter how badly I wish for it. I still have days when I break down because I wish I’ve realized my sexuality sooner so I wouldn’t have had to force myself to have sex with men just to “fit in”. The hardest pill I’ve had to swallow is that I’ve consented to all of it because I thought that’s what I wanted to do and well it wasn’t. For years, I felt so uncomfortable in my own body because of it. Thinking about those times makes me feel nauseous.

(This tiktok better encapsulates how I feel: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8dNo6XB/ definitely recommend this tiktoker btw, she makes content about being a late bloomer lesbian)

If you’re genuinely not attracted to someone, why would you put yourself through the trouble of having sex with them anyway? Especially if you’re aware you’re not attracted to them? I don’t get it.

You guys can go on about how everyone has sex with people they’re not attracted to all the time but don’t fucking act like there are zero emotional repercussions for doing so. It has taken me a long time to heal from all of that and idk maybe I am being over dramatic but it just feels like a big slap in the face seeing people say it so nonchalantly.

I will end this ask on a positive: I made some new sapphic friends this week and they invited me to an lgbtq summer halloween event!

Don’t apologize for venting!

It really is infuriating… Like, there’s obviously some exceptions when we talk about having sex with men as a lesbian such as 1) the person might have had relationships with men before figuring out their identity 2) the person knows they’re not attracted to men but they live in a dangerous place to be out as a lesbian and is influenced to/forced to be in a relationship with a guy just to fit in 3) or maybe the person is a sex worker and it’s their job…

But when it comes to someone who has sex with men simply because they want to, without it being their job, without them being forced or influenced to anything, while not only knowing fully well they’re a “lesbian” but also identifying as one… well that person isn’t a lesbian.

You wouldn’t have sex with men (considering all the things I’ve mentioned above) while knowing you’re a lesbian if you were actually one. Why would you willingly have sex with men if you’re not attracted to them?

Those people really have no idea how dangerous what they’re saying is. They completely forget how lesbians are major victims of corrective rape and how creepy men are when it comes to us. They’re only contributing to men thinking we’re deep down attracted to them.

And it’s really just like you said as someone who also had relationships with men before figuring out my identity: it’s agonizing even thinking about how I put myself and my body through that.

I’m so happy for you! I hope they’re very nice and that you enjoy this event!

[honeydropsoftea]

a new life - a diary, chapter 1

agh, i apologize for this rare rant but i need to vent someway somewhere. excuse the lack of grammar.

it is hard to be productive. it is hard to continue going when you are falling. is that possible? i feel lost, stuck, and like i’m falling all at the same time. my head feels like a cloud, i’m just waiting for the hurricane to break out.

i have sent emails to 25+ contacts, faculties, departments of 3 different colleges and … crickets. i had luck with 1 person fully - i even got a zoom meeting just to learn i should go into the other department since they have more research student opportunities. no problem, right? well, the few people i have heard from either say i am not a fit, they aren’t doing anything with students, they are retiring, on sabbatical, etc etc etc.

i expect or at least prepare for disappointment to some degree in many cases, but this is one of the hardest areas, chapters, of my life. i am planning on moving out, starting a career in academia (hopefully to be a research student, graduate assistant). i’ve lost all my routine. i’ve lost a lot of myself. i have no sleep schedule, no habit tracking, nothing. very few days do i have a ‘good’ day. i feel so lost, stuck when i get excited that someone has answered my email, just to feel crushed that they aren’t accepting students. i feel like a ping pong ball being shot to and forth.

i’m an environmental biologist whose range of studies and experience is everywhere - truly, i love learning just like a lot of people on productive tumblr, instagram, etc. i mean, we are a generation romanticizing learning, and besides some of the toxic content or messages (disregarding health, having to have perfect grades and no life outside of education, etc etc) i think a lot of us truly love and appreciate knowledge and academia. we are blessed to have it.

so, why can’t anyone accept me? i know, it’s not personal, but my current mind state is . . . lost.

i quit my previous graduate assistant job after a year and 3 semesters. it wasn’t research, the college was my ‘safe choice’ and that was a mistake, since personnel went to crap and the opportunities? there were none. there was only one professor in the program i was pursuing a masters of science in.

this whole summer, i had lists and plans. plans to get back on track, to find a school and job for spring 2025. i fall notoriously into the aggressive list making (i blame my ocd and adhd) but since my therapist said they can make me feel like failing - putting too much down out of reach, just to be unable to check it off at the end - that i need to make mine realistic. and i have gotten pretty okay at that. simple things. and in reality, my summer lists weren’t that ‘hard’ or out of reach. except they were for my current state. i am in the midst of changing my antidepressant since, for the past year, i have had a steady decline in mental everything. anxiety? off the charts. depressed nights? increasing. i blamed it on the job i was in, and partly it really was that. i had lost 2 of my pets. my other pet, a cat, is chronically ill. i’ve had so many external factors that i thought were the cause of my internal chaos, but it’s to the point i can’t live. i don’t feel like myself.

this sounds so ‘pity me’ and i apologize, i just…needed to rant. and maybe out there, someone is in the same chapter i am. we aren’t alone, i know that, but it’s hard to constantly remind yourself of that when everything feels like an unchecked list. this too shall pass, i say. the problem is i’m impatient. it has to come soon, i can’t live like this. but, i need to take care of myself first. maybe making this post will enforce the change, start the chemical reaction for my new life. i don’t know.

all images from Pinterest.

[zydrateacademy]

Darktide Discord Drama?

Alright so this is real stupid. I was hurt about this for maybe ten minutes and then that just converted into confusion the more I thought about it. So I’m not speaking to the official server. It’s been mostly fine with the usual gamer pricks that might pop in every now and then. Toxicity is unavoidable when a game has crashes and disconnects. Frankly 1.08 has been GREAT for me, with minimal crashes and disconnects at all. Awesome. Anyway this isn’t about the official discord. It’s fine. So far. Upon looking for like, a leveling group (the type that just run the first one or two difficulties for the higher xp/hour, for alternate characters and all) I get DM’d about a server someone else started. Because Darktide has like 60k players (67k looking at it just now) so inevitable, the 50 or so voice channels fill up pretty quick (they added another 50 I think today or yesterday). So I get invited to a non-official one and like so many gamer groups, they try to set up this whole inclusive thing because being a shithead isn’t going to get you numbers. I certainly never see “looking for fellow bigots for this community”, they usually just end up coding it like “not looking for people who get their feelings hurt easily”. Which in my experience is just code for “laugh at our racist jokes please”. I don’t think this place had any coding like that but I wasn’t really there long enough to give a deep dive into the rules. It’s so often just common sense to me, being not-a-dick is pretty simple. I was in it for like, a day. I join and group up with three guys for four or so missions. I think it goes well enough, pretty smooth. So all of three dudes. Games take about 30 minutes so we were all together for a couple hours so we just eventually broke off and moved on. That’s pretty much the only group I joined and played with in this discord. That’s going to be relevant in a minute.

So the discord owner starts pinging people as Darktide players start logging in en masse. I get pulled into the first voice chat and they’re pretty much talking nonstop, to the point where I don’t think there’s a game going on. I can’t get a word in. They’re just talking about the Eviscerator and other various weapons in the game. I leave the VC and just go get a drink refill. Server owner pings me with a question mark, I come back a couple minutes later and again they just are talking nonstop to the point I’d generally feel like a dick if I said “hey guys can I talk”. Instead I kinda wait and I say something like “Sorry guys, couldn’t get a word in. Whose the group leader so I can hunt down the friend code?” (You gotta add people on steam to group up on Darktide). That’s pretty much all I said, I hear the discord owner say “alright hold on a minute” and the channel disappears from my discord listing. Here’s what I get in response, and a reminder that the coward possibly blocked me so I couldn’t even defend myself proper (which is why I wanted to do a venting blog post).

There’s a lot to unpack here. I want to go down this point by point. 1) Not likeable. Not patient. Alright so I can’t help the first thing. Not everyone’s gonna gel. The confusing part is, how would he even know? I was there for a day and we barely spoke together much. For impatience, I really just wanted to start grouping up. That’s all I wanted. I can be patient but everyone was just talking about weapons. I just wanted to group up and play. 2) Not here to cater to me, be customer support, or adult babysitter. I don’t remember asking anyone to be any of those things at all. 3) Don’t like it here? Go start own group. Again I never expressed any distaste for the server. I basically just treated it like a LFG server so I barely spoke in it at all except to look for groups. I talked maybe three times total.

4) I overtook the conversation to make it about me. Literally all I said was “Sorry guys, couldn’t get a word in. Whose the group leader so I can hunt down the friend code?” That’s not making it about me, that’s just wanting to start grouping up.

5) Don’t see me contributing. How? I don’t own the server. I was never asked to contribute anything, nor do I have any context for what the fuck that even means. I was in it for a DAY. 6) Complaints about me. Again I don’t see how or why. I barely spoke in it. I mean this is my tinfoil hat being put on but indeed this is my discord avatar;

And maybe because my voice is still male presenting (which is why I generally hate voice chatting but I will sometimes do so for team games like Darktide - because I know I’ll probably never see the same people more than once or twice). I’m wondering if there were just some closet bigots judging the disparity between my voice and choice of PfP. That might not be the case but it’s my leading theory considering, once again, I barely said anything in this server at all and only grouped up with some dudes in voice chat a single occasion.

7) Complaints were proven? I feel like impatience is the key complaint here and this guy just typed up all this nonsense to justify it. Again I don’t recall being particularly impatient with anything at all. A game in this genre does kind of push you forward a bit because if you fuck around too much it’ll spawn hordes on you which is a drain on resources. I still explore side rooms for materials and extra objectives but I don’t waste too much time on it in the event the map keeps throwing Mutants at us (which the map will sometimes do - especially on the Endless Hordes modifier which ups the elite spawns to an annoying degree). I don’t recall the very specifics of how I spoke in voice but I wager it’s like any other time - fairly quiet unless relevant information needs to be passed. Ammo here, hey I’m dropping medpack here, hey there’s a dog coming for me. 8) There were ‘rumors’ about me? This ties into my theory above a bit. Yet again I barely spoken in this server at all, text or otherwise. I only voice-grouped once, the night I was invited in to begin with. I probably did some casual chatting in the channels but not much because it was a multi-game discord and Darktide was the only one relevant to me personally. And it wasn’t a very chatty section of the discord. So I have no idea how rumors got started to begin with unless there’s just some dick in there stirring shit up because he can. Again, I kinda theorize it’s because of the separation between my voice and my pfp because it’s the only thing I can think of. “lol some guy tryna pass off as a lesbian”. Without even really knowing the context of it.

9) Don’t make your bad day someone else’s bad day. Honestly by itself this is a pretty good bit of advice. But then, let me copy and paste the statement I said in voice for a third time: “Sorry guys, couldn’t get a word in. Whose the group leader so I can hunt down the friend code?” Is that so harsh? Is that really making it about me? I wouldn’t have given a single shit if they kept talking about guns after but if they weren’t starting a group for a game then why did he keep pushing me to get in the voice channel? I didn’t ask for him to abandon his own spot for “my” fun. If there’s no room we can all just move on with our fucking day. It was such a huge overreaction that it just gave me some vague emotional whiplash. Thankfully I got over it pretty quickly during a game I queued for after this ordeal, but I wanted to type this out to sorta process the information (I am a writer after all). But goddamn. Censored the name but kept the avatar there because fuck that guy.

[yanderefairyangel]

Don’t mind me, I just feel the need to vent a bit because while idc too much about the twins, the support with Veyle (along with Engage’s censorship) is something that gets more and more on my nerves mainly because it feeds on misinformation all over. 

Basically  the “Veyle is romantic” is a rumor that started spreading with the leak of the game’s jpn support with someone on Reddit and twitter sharing some portions of transalted dialogue cut out of context and because of the “kind dragon child” that success to Alear and Veyle.  Except the people who saw those never went to see the ACTUAL support in their entirety to compare. 

Basically their main argument is that Alear calls Veyle their partner, however the word partner /  パートナー has 3 meaning :

1. 共同で仕事をする相手。相棒。 

Someone you work with. Partner ("aibou" - JP )

2 ダンス・スポーツなどで二人一組になるときの相手。

 2. Someone you perform a two-person dance, sport, etc with. 

3「配偶者、またはそのような関係の相手。 

3. Spouse, or someone you have that sort of relationship with.

as you can see, the word  パートナー is mostly use for the sense of someone sharing a common activity even if it can be used for lover, but, and it’s the pit of the irony, it is Anna’s jpn support that actually shows that when Alear offers someone to be their  パートナー they don’t necesserarily means “lover”. In fact, in the og, when Anna confessed her crush to Alear, they give her the pact ring saying “if it’s too soon to lovers/恋人, maybe we can stay partners/ パートナー ?” you can check, all you have to do is activating the jpn dub and transalte which is what I did rather then believing Internet’s crybabies. You don’t have to be an expert in lingustic to understand that in this context partner and lovers aren’t consider to be synonymous and that partner is supposed to be less than lover in this case. 

When you watch the ENTIRE S support for Veyle, it’s obvious that Treehouses didn’t change much thing, just got rid of word partner, but imo it has more to do with wanting to clarify which of Alear’s support were meant to be romantic since the jpn version use the word  パートナー for all supports even when it’s not intented to be romantic. Now look at the sentence that Alear says as they gave Veyle the pact ring

リュール：きょうだいとし��、大切なパートナーとして、ヴェイルに持っていてほしいんです。 

Translation Alear: I want you to have it [the pact ring], Veyle. As my sibling, and as a precious partner. 

Except for some wordings and Treehouse wanting to emphasise on family bond with their translation, the dialogue is literally the SAME. Another evidence it was never romantic to begin with are Veyle’s wake up events after the pact ring which are essentially, just like in English, her telling you to wake up so you can fight Papabron and her saying she could jump out of joy if Alear were to wake her up. Heck the S support itself used the pact ring as a substitute for Alear’s broken dragon stone, and honestly i wanted to wrote a commentary on how this S support is brillant I will do it once I am done with this. 

The other argument was that the child in jpn of their paired ending isn’t precised to be an orphan and “Alear and Veyle are the last dragon in Elyos so we know what’s going on!!” except that

1) This kid exist in the jpn ending with FEMALE alear too, and we all know that futanari doesn’t exist in FE universe so that kid can’t be the result of any weird stuff between Veyle and her older sibling

2) That’s the proof that nobody listen to the game, hence why so many people are being like “Engage don’t have wordlbuilding”, yes it does, you were just sleeping when people were explaining things. Alear and Veyle aren’t the last dragons. Alear is the last divine dragon and Veyle the last fell dragon but there is still a lot of mage dragon it’s in XenElyos that all dragons but the Fell twins and Zelestia are dead !!! Seeing how the dragon child grew up in the orphanage too, it doesn’t take a big brain to understand this child was an orphan too but Veyle and Alear choose him as a successor at any rate him barging in even in the ending with Toothpaste chan ruins any arguments that they had.

As for the twins, just compare how their pact ring support with Alear is written vs Veyle and how their wake up event post pact ring is written vs Veyle’s... those are very different deal. I know people are comparing the 2 situation because to them Nel and Rafal have “the same dad” as Alear and Veyle, and I’d rather not comment upon this. 

Sure IS wanted to let the player give the ring to everyone but Veyle and the twins arent the same kind of fanservice : Veyle is a imouto fan service, much like Morgan and Kanna except instead of giving you a child fanservice, a baby you take care of, they decided to make Veyle a little sister you take care of, a little like how Lilith and Sommie exist for you to take care of them as a appeal. But because IS isn’t completely nuts and that Veyle’s relationship with Alear is important to the story, they just went for a platonic promise to stick together between two siblings that had it hard and the fact the whole Internet try to corrupt something that makes sense given their story is beyond me (not the worst thing I have seen mind you but still) whereas the twins are two characters IS just though they could let you romance because they themself don’t view them as siblings and the narrative shows that considering how much they care about it and that ultimately their relationship or lack of with Alear doesn’t even remotely matter 

So yeah, basically Veyle is another case of Ephraim/Eirika rumors, she was never romantic and that why at the end getting mad a Treehouse for changing the support or praising them for is kind of dumb, cause they literaly did not change much. As for the twins they are indeed romantic but given that the narrative kind of tried to make it clear that they aren’t related to Alear, they could do that : i mean, “they come from a universe where you aren’t you dad’s kid and they aren’t your sibling and since you and you alter ego are the same person, it’s enough to say they continue to remain not your sibling” is obvioulsy the reason behind that difference, after all the only support that kind of bring up the “problem” to show there weren’t any to begin with is Rafal’s S support, where, before Alear even bring up the idea, he says : 

ここでのお前は我と同じ、父上の・・・いや、邪竜の血を引く存在だと知り驚いたが… which translate into

 I was surprised to learn that you here, like me, are of my father's... no, of the blood of the evil dragon...

that’s the only sentence that the game use to bring down all worries, and it’s done in such a way, it prouve the dev really did not cared about Alear and the Fell twin’s relationship unlike for Veyle, which is one of the major plot point, in fact the sole fact that one like me could say their relationship don’t matter plot wise whereas if you say this about Veyle and Alear’s, you are dead wrong speaks words. I’ll add to that that Treehouse’s hate is really exagerated. They did not changed this much from the OG support in general, just tone down many of Alear’s romantic support, but in the OG romantic are ring finger whereas platonic are middle finger : you’ll notice that Veyle wears the ring on middle finger whereas Anna and Jean don’t even wear it at all, so it proves that once again Treehouses did not change much meaning that getting mad at them is perfectly useless, even in jpn you can’t romance any of those 3 characters. In fact, it seems they went less “censoring” for the DLC, I know they censored Maddie’s support however, but the rest is just a difference in wording. 

On a sidenote, I will never understand why people complain in FE about ships being weird, any others franchise ok, but FE knowing it’s history of weird narrative ships ? reminds me of the VNC shipwars, where everyone forgot Mochizuki feeds on chaotic and “toxic” relationship but if it’s enough for them to lose their mind, I’d advice them to never come near Evilious Chronicles

kind of unrelated but why do i see people complaing that Veyle is romanting in jpn and clutchin pear at treehouse for censoring that one and let NEl and Rafal marriage options ?

that would be incorrect rumors getting taken as fact in regards to veyle i believe. as for whoever overlaps between those two opinions... idk why they would overlap on those opinions.

[astroismypassion]

Composite real life experience part 2

The long awaited post! I promised I will turn this into a series. Here is the second part. 🥰

Credit @astroismypassion

🌅 Gemini Sun: I would love to complain and find a reason to vent about Mercurial Composite placements. But honestly? Haven’t had anything, but really good good experiences with Gemini, Virgo Sun, Moon, Rising, even Venus in the Composite chart. It gives longevity. Not in Capricorn like way (which sometimes it grants you more breaks, a pause or even relationship not even taking off the ground). But Gemini Sun gives that drive, wish to both parties to talk every day or at least every 2, 3 days if mundane life gets too busy. Both parties strive to communicate in a healthy manner. They both perfect their messages for each other in an endearing way. Like love letters, except it’s messages. Ways of communication are really varied. Sometimes they will send you random photos from the day, a gif, a photo from the internet, a selfie, a group picture, a sunset picture. Or in real life give you a poem they’ve written, a note or a letter, heck even a postcard. They might write to you in very documentary or journal like manner, but you will find their daily details thoughtful and endearing. 🤩✨💛 They might misuse emojis a lot though haha. Which can sometimes lead to confusion on both ends. However, you will soon learn about THEIR own use of emojis, so you will learn and grow to completely understand them. Might often run into them just when you are a little bit irritated.

🌇 Capricorn Sun: You will feel like your personality is being refined in this connection. Like you are becoming more cultured. You will both feel like a mature couple that has been together for years due to how well you will know each other.

🎆 Sagittarius Mercury: the communication will be rather honest, not as direct in an Aries way, but more cultured, non-judgemental and open-minded. You won’t limit conversation to just a few topics. You will be open and prepared to talk about literally every possible topic under the sun.

🌃 Mars in the 7th house: maybe someone else will try to approach you while you are in this connection? And you will actually have to “keep them away” so that they don’t ruin the connection you have with this person. It’s a really nice placement despite being Mars. You both listen to each other, understand each other and you will have a feel like you want to stay away from conflicts with each other. Acting like a long-term couple will come naturally to you from the start almost like you’ve been a couple for years. You will be more willing to be more compromising with your own desires in this connection. As a result of that you will both be fair with each other and give each other what you deserve. Many restaurant, cafe get togethers. Going on a picnic, enjoying beautiful atmosphere, nice people, fine food and drink. They will always want to wine and dine you when you are one on one.

🏙 Moon in the 3rd house: again, really good for actually wanting to verbalise feelings, thoughts in a healthy, coherent manner. You will LOVE how this person chooses to express themselves. They will calm you down with their words. Their words feel like lotion on body, you will feel the (self)care. Mostly like has very strong bond with their sibling(s). Probably has that one trusted best friend as well that they have known for years.

🌆 Virgo Moon: you might often meet with this person after work or intense study session. You could constantly feel stressed out, tired. But not because of them, but other outside reasons (work, school, money issues) every time you are about to meet them or get together. However, you will ALWAYS feel self-improvement with them. Like you know now how to take care of yourself better, how to do time management, how to take better care of your personal hygiene. Might often run into them when you are irritated.

🌄 Moon square Pluto: you will fall hard for this person. You might meet them at several different stages in their life, like in high school, later in college, after college etc., when they get their first job. You will fight accepting their feelings, because you know that this will result in strong emotional attachment and you will experience such strong feelings as a result. Like you won’t allow yourself to fall for them all along well knowing that they already own your heart. “There is so much of you in me” type of connection.

🌠 Gemini Rising: Often found in best friends/platonic relationships. However, when it is ROMANTIC pff, the flirting part is unreal. Every conversation turns into flirting somehow and at some point. Obsessed with each other’s voice. Truly you will feel like your person has a voice like no other. You will always pay attention to the mannerisms and learn to really understand them through body language. You will talk to each other in such seductive manner. You both have so many people in common that you mutually know. Might often run into them when you are irritated.

🌆 Libra Venus: you will both know how to spend money when together, but in a reasonable manner. Very money smart. You will always strive for balance in your diet, how you spend money and in everything you do. Both will be good dressers. Both enjoy some brand names. You will know how to find good deals (for clothes, food etc.). Might have a sweet tooth when together.

Credit: @astroismypassion

[bastillewolf]

Shinigami Eyes (II)

Pairing: Corpse Husband / Reader

Summary: After you distastefully kill Corpse in a game of Among Us, he wants you to make it up to him and invites you to come over for the week.

Notes: Thank you so much for the love on the previous chapter, I’ve never gotten this many notes before. I hope you enjoy, and maybe leave an ask if you want to? I can’t promise I have time to do them, but I’ll pick out a couple.

Also, I might rewrite this. I kinda rushed it because I wanted to finish it by tonight, but there will be a final and third chapter to this afterwards. Please do let me know what you think.

Tag list CLOSED!

Shinigami Eyes - Pt. II

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Impostor

You were teamed up with Sean.

Your fist violently slammed down on the desk. “Goddammit! I don’t want to be impostor anymore! This game has no compassion for my poor nerves.” It was the third time in a row now, and you were really craving to do normal tasks now without all the scheming. “Fuck it, I don’t care if they kill me. I’m just gonna do my thing without thinking about it.”

You decide to follow Toast for a bit to watch him do some task. You kill him in Laboratory. You vent back to Launchpad and take your time walking towards MedBay while the kill button restores. You meet up with Corpse, and follow him while pretending to do wires in the Y-hallway. You watched the green bar go up, and continued. Sabotaging and then fixing lights, you made sure your place with Corpse was settled. Then the body of Lily was reported.

As you expected, Corpse easily vouched for you as he’d seen you do a task. The round was skipped, though Rae was sussed for ‘chasing’ Sean, by his own words.

“Corpse, you’ve grown weak,” you muttered to chat.

You were in Greenhouse, and decided it would be best to kill him there and sabotage Reactor. “Sorry baby, but I can’t keep following you around.” You quickly set off Reactor and murdered him in front of the plants. “Your blood shall keep the plants hydrated.” You did an evil laugh. “Pretty sure that’s not how it works, though.”

You vented down to MedBay and as you walked out you met up with Rae. She’d be the vouch who would confirm you weren’t anywhere near Greenhouse. “I’ll just have to fix my own sabotage so they’ll never suspect me.” You helped her with the handprint, and noted Sykkuno and Felix being there. Sean sabotaged lights, you killed Sykkuno, and ran out to follow Lily into Laboratory. Felix reported the body.

“Holy shit,” Rae gasped. So far, five people had died. You only needed to kill one more person. “It was Felix!”

“Wait, what?” the man in question asked. “I was fixing Reactor!”

She mentioned that only you, Sykkuno, Felix and herself had been there and that you’d helped her do handprint. “Sykkuno must have fixed it, and then you killed him!”

Sean asked if you’d seen anything.

“No, the lights were out. I followed Rae into Laboratory after the scan.” Your voice didn’t tremble or raise, a tactic you’d taken up from the best lair in the group. Well, the one who was now dead. Oops. “I haven’t seen Felix this entire game, though.”

He was evidently at a loss for words, so the group was quick to vote for him.

Pewds was ejected.

Victory.

You thanked Sean for a good game who was laughing his ass off. “I can’t believe you did Corpse like that! Poor guy!”

“I deadass thought you were innocent,” Corpse replied, “I’m hurt.”

“Why do you still sound dark and menacing when you say something like that?!”

You agreed with Sean heartily, “He’s just salty I’ve bested him at his own game.”

“Hey now, no need to actually insult me.”

The group laughed. You decided to call it for the night, right before Corpse did the same.”

 ***

He was calling you again. “What is it this time, you salty?”

“Salty? Nah, never,” he said, but you weren’t convinced.

“Then why you calling?”

“What, I can’t call my friends after playing a nice round of Among Us?”

“Not when you lost the game and you call the person who you lost to. Kinda sus, dude.”

“Alright, maybe a little salty.” You smirked.

“Aw, you need me to make it up to you?”

He laughed. “What did you have in mind?”

A bunch of thoughts, most not rated PG-13, crossed your mind. You were suddenly starting to feel uncomfortable. This was probably just something innocent, which got twisted in your fucked-up mind. You shrugged, “Uh… I don’t know.”

“I got an idea.”

“What is it?”

“Come over this week. You said you needed a break, right?”

“That sounds more like you’re doing me a favour instead of me making it up to you.”

“I don’t have any friends. You’d be making it up to me by being the first physical person here in years. I usually don’t invite people over.”

“Wow, I’m flattered. So, you don’t consider me to be your friend after all?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he chuckled.

“Sure, sure. Tell me that again when my presence suddenly brightens your life making you not want to get rid of me, ever.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

 ***

You walk through the gates following a hoard of people, all the while still feeling drowsy from not getting any sleep during your flight. At least you didn’t have any turbulence and landed safely. Glancing around here and there with no result, you figured Corpse would be waiting outside, until you spotted a figure clad in black a little ends away by the escalator. You were glad you were still awake enough to have found him, because he appeared to silently linger halfway behind a fern.

At least, you hoped it was him. The only indications were his clothes, mask and dark hair. You saw him run a hand through it, and identified the chipped black nail polish and familiar rings. Oh yea, that was him alright.

He seemed to be paying more attention to the floor until he saw two feet appear in his line of sight. “Hey,” you awkwardly greeted. A bit taken a back, he replied, “Oh, wow. Hey.” A mask was covering the bottom of his face, but as far as you could see his eyes were a very dark shade.

“Wow?” you repeated. He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “Yea, sorry. It’s a compliment.” You held your elbow out in a safe-distance gestured hello, but he shrugged you off. “You’re gonna be staying with me anyways.” Suddenly in a daze, you felt him wrap his arms around your waist and instantly hugged him back. His baggy sweater felt warm and soft to the touch, and strands of hair tickled your face. You very much tried to repress your smile and blush, but how could you? Hugging someone wasn’t supposed to feel this good. When he pulled back he reached down to take your suitcase from you. “I don’t own a car, is it okay if we take a cab?”

“Y-Yeah, of course,” you stuttered, “But it’s on me. Same with food and stuff.” “Don’t worry about it,” he chuckled. “No, you’re letting me stay with you and a hotel would’ve been a lot more expensive than this. It’s my treat.” “Yeah, we’ll see.” He gave you a look and even with the mask you could tell he was smirking underneath it.

It’s about half an hour drive to his apartment complex, and it’s rather nice. “All that YouTube money paying off, huh?” you asked in amusement. “You’d know,” he replied. You insisted on carrying your suitcase up the stairs yourself, which he silently shook his head at, until after a few flights he noticed you struggling and settled on carrying the thing in between the two of you. “How many clothes did you bring?” “Oh, it’s mostly filled with bricks I might need to throw at your head.” He laughed at that.

His apartment was simple, but cosy. “Home sweet home,” he said, almost sarcastically. You furrowed your brow at him. “I’m sure you could’ve had it a lot worse.” He reluctantly agreed.

He helped you set down your luggage in what appeared to be his bedroom, where the curtains were still closed and the black bedsheets fresh. He had a few pieces of fanart up on his wall, and some on his closet. You turned to him and gave him a look. “You’re not sleeping on the couch.”

He quickly shook his head, “You’re not sleeping there. If you won’t let me sleep on the couch I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“If you’re sleeping on the floor, I’m sleeping on the floor.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” he murmured. “What?” “Nothing.”

He suggested playing video games as you were both too tired to do anything else. You’d landed quite late yet were still confused about what time it actually was. Flying is weird. You hopped onto his couch and grabbed a controller.

He sat down next to you, but suddenly seemed tenser than before.

“You okay? You can just go to sleep if you want to.”

He shook his head, “Nah, I don’t sleep a lot. It’s fine.”

You didn’t stop looking at him, though. He was still wearing that mask. “You don’t have to take it off, if you don’t want to. I understand if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“It’s not that, I just…” He took a deep breath. You hadn’t expected him to take it off then and there. You stared at him, your mouth slightly agape, controller barely held by your numb hands.

“Disappointed?”

It was as if he was expecting you to make a face or something, but you didn’t give him anything, except for a blatant “Nope” and an “Are we gonna play now or what?”

“You don’t have anything else to say?”

You shrugged, and looked him up and down again. “You’re kind of what I imagined you to be.”

“What’s that?”

“Handsome.”

Neither of you could stop smiling for the rest of the night.

You eventually forced him to sleep in his own bed, even going as far as to shove him into the room and keep your weight against the door so he couldn’t get out, so he eventually relented. “Inviting you here was a mistake.” “How come? All I’ve done so far is look after you!” “You’re a nightmare.”

You mostly stayed in for the week, which you didn’t mind at all. Being in such a closed-off environment with someone you got along with was nice. He attempted to get you to lift the weights in his room and succeeded for around fifteen minutes until you nearly dropped a dumbbell on your foot. You ordered take-out from his favourite restaurant, watched horror movies until you adapted to his sleeping schedule because you were too scared to close your eyes now, and even streamed a bit together with your friends.

“Wait, is Corpse with you?” Rae had asked.

“No, I’m at Corpse’s. He’s sitting across from me so I can’t see his screen but we’re gonna have to share the Discord unless you want to hear an echo.”

“Ah, man! You got to see his face, too?” Sykkuno whined.

“Stop simping, Sykkuno. You get enough attention from him already.”

“Don’t worry, I still love you,” Corpse said.

“Huh?”

It was probably a good thing that you got teamed up again, because you could indeed start to see his hands shaking right as the word ‘impostor’ appeared on the screen. You reached over and stroked it with your thumb. He smiled gratefully back at you.

“Just please,” he pleaded later that day, “Sleep in the bed. If only for one night.”

“No. I’ve heard about and now seen your sleeping habits. If you take the couch you’re never going to get any sleep.” You made a real effort to show him how comfortable you were – even though your back had started to hurt already after the first night – by crawling underneath your blanket and rubbing your head into the soft pillow. He snorted.

Next thing, you feel yourself being lifted by an arm underneath your knees and one around your back. “Corpse! Put me the fuck down!” you shrieked. You knew he lifted weights, but how the hell did he still have the energy as an insomniac? He ungracefully dropped you onto the matrass and turned the lights off. “Good night.”

You quickly got hold of the back of his hoodie before he could leave and pulled. He fell down next to you with a low huff. “Fine, I’ll sleep in the bed. But only if you sleep here too.”

“I snore.”

“Don’t care.”

For some reason, there wasn’t any tension or awkwardness. You were comfortable, and the soft rhythm of his breathing seemed to soothe you. He called out your name, to see if you were still awake.

“Hm?”

“…Thanks for coming over.”

“Any time.”

This was how you would spend the rest of the nights, and whenever either of you woke up suddenly curled up around the other, you didn’t mention it or move away from it. It was the first time in years Corpse got a few nights of complete rest.

[freifraufischer]

I feel like venting some unpopular US gym opinions:

1) I don’t see a lot of evidence that doing NCAA gymnastics improves form.  Or really that it actually has particularly good form.  Yes there are individual athletes that have great form in NCAA but those athletes have it because they had good training as club gymnasts and weren’t funneled into a system that pushed high difficulty early like the former/current elites.  The idea that elite gymnasts go to NCAA an gain good form is a kind of delusion and in part I blame those people in the gymnastics community who have taken it on themselves to hype NCAA gym to elite fans.

2) Everyone knows the Olympians in NCAA this past season were over scored.  We’re perfectly happy to talk about how nutty NCAA scoring is during NCAA season and those leotard and reputation bonuses.  But as soon as those athletes appear back in the elite competitions all those criticisms of NCAA scoring are forgotten and “but she got 10′s on bars in NCAA” get thrown around to claim that Jade Carey is somehow being turned into an AAer.  

3) Jade Carey is not an AAer.  She came in 9th in the Tokyo AA so she can get a reasonable AA score but the problem with declaring her an AAer happens well before an international AA.  Jade Carey did exactly 2 international All Arounds in her career both in Tokyo and she did it in Tokyo qualifying because no one could stop her (and it didn’t matter to the us team what she did).  She qualified 2rd among the US team because Simone scratched the AA.  In theory Jordan Chiles should have been the AAer ahead of her but Jordan’s melt down in Tokyo meant she was in that position. 

In other words Jade Carey was in that position in Tokyo because multiple disasters had happened to the US team.  And even still her hit beam score from qualifying was lower than any other gymnast who finished 1-9 in the Tokyo AA.  

If Jade Carey isn’t 2 per countries out of an AA then the US has a significant problem.  Or two as was the case in Tokyo.

In order for Jade Carey to do the AA at Worlds she has to do beam in qualification.  And none of the people who are hyping her seem to have thought out why you would put Jade on beam in qualification.  The argument I’ve seen is “well if she’s one of the top two us AAers”’ which big if... but still just about anyone put on a US world team has a higher potential beam score than Jade. 

And here is when I get really unpopular.  I like Jade Carey as a person.  She seems nice, shy, she has an awkward charm.  But a friend recently suggested that she is the closest anyone will ever get to the “discovered playing around at gymnastics and asked to become an Olympian” plot from a tween movie that will ever come to reality.  For those unfamiliar with gymnastics Jade Carey was a level 10 gymnast (the non international elite track that normally indicates a trajectory to NCAA gymnastics).  Her incredibly strong vaulting and floor tumbling was spotted by then developmental director Valeri Liukin and he asked her to consider elite because the US needed more vault specialists.  She is white, blond, pretty, and has a personality people can project onto.  Jade Carey World AA champion is, IMO, real person fan fic which chooses to ignore the many reasons she is unlikely to be that gymnast.  

Oh and as of the writing of this rant she hasn’t shown a public competitive elite gymnastics routine in more than a year (she’ll show the first ones at US championships this week) or at all in the current Paris Quad code of points which has introduced elements that are specifically intended to ding athletes like her.  More on that later.

And maybe that would be harmless except for the people are likely the top US All Around gymnasts are almost all young women of color.  Just a quick run down...

Leanne Wong, the 2021 World AA Silver Medalist finished ahead of Carey last year at US nationals, and in the 2021 Worlds AA turned in a score almost two points higher than Carey did in Tokyo.  She is also an NCAA gymnast like Carey but we do know what her Paris code form looks like because she recently won US Classic with a vault upgrade that looks on track to erase Carey’s scoring advantage over her in that event.  If anyone deserves the right to be called the default US AAer right now it’s Wong.  I can’t imagine why people might be defaulting to Carey over her. 

Shilese Jones came in second to Wong at US Classic this year despite two beam falls (which don’t particularly bother me because US Classic is meet you participate in specifically to try out new elements in front of a crowd in a competition setting).  She has quite a lot higher potential beam score even with her early season non-upgraded routine than Carey and is also quite a bit more “useable” on bars.  I don’t think you put her over Wong right now but again she’s shown Paris code routines.  

Lexi Zeiss took Silver at the recent Pan American Championships.  The US Pan Am team has taken a lot of flack because they came in behind (a very strong and competitive Brazilian team) and had several helicopter crashes on beam.  While I don’t know that you consider all the gymnasts on the Pan Ams team as serious contenders for Worlds, and I think they all earned a big ? over their beam performance she’s also someone who has presented a respectable Paris quad AA score which is either equivalent or greater than Carey’s Tokyo quad score (which will be higher on average than Paris scores because the value of vaults was downgraded).  

Konnor McClain is coming back from a concussion (and I have feelings about the fact that she’s already competing) but she has shown several Paris code scores this year that put her in a position to be a serious AAer for the United States.  If Valeri stops being an idiot about ring leaps...  

All four of these women (and several others) have posted real, tangible current scores and all of them have a more reasonable claim to be the US top potential All Around than Carey.   And I’d put any of them on beam in a team qualification situation over Carey.

3) This is going to be much more brutal.  I have no earthly idea why people think Jordan Chiles will be a star this quad.  She has gone to exactly one major international meet (the Tokyo Olympics), had a massive melt down and came in 40th in the AA in qualification.  Simone Biles’ twisties was the biggest disaster the US had in Tokyo and Chiles flopping on the big stage (just talking about qualification I’m not holding anything that happened in the Team final against her) is number two. 

I’m not going to bring in her NCAA record because that feels wrong if my argument is that it doesn’t say much about elite.  Nor am I going to touch on questions of how much she may or may not be concentrating on training because that seems unfair and largely unknowable.  But there is absolutely no evidence that she will fair any better in 2022 than she did in 2021.  If you want to talk about her potential to score for a 2022 US Worlds team you better not be using her 2021 US domestic scoring to do it because we know that wasn’t a reflection of reality.  I would trust Jade Carey’s beam more than I trust Jordan under pressure.  And we’ve already listened to my thoughts on Carey’s beam.

4) The Americans are going to be murdered internationally because they haven’t given a shit about artistry because they didn’t have to care about it because Simone.  The FIG Women’s Technical Committee, which governs the rules of the sport and wrote the code, has been signaling since last fall that there will be deductions taken for lack of amplitude, extension, marginal attempts at engaging the music, lack of rhythm and excessive pauses on beam... basically all things that the American program has been doing ever since they realized they could win by flinging as much difficulty into their routines as possible.

All one has to do is watch almost any other country at a major competition to recognize that they have gotten the memo that the US has not.  Word has come back from the scoring at the Pan American championships and the US gymnasts were losing more than a point in artistry deductions each.  While the Pan Ams team is likely not reflective of what the US  Worlds team will look like there is also zero reason to think that general pattern wont apply to most of the rest of the US field.

Oh and it’s almost like all of these artistry changes were created because of gymnasts like Carey.  Who won the floor gold medal at the Olympics with the lowest execution score ever without a fall.  Now I personally wonder if ironically Carey isn’t going to be effected too much by these changes because I think they were already taking all the artistry deductions they could from her.  But I wouldn’t bet on the idea that they could find more.

And that’s not even touching the fact that beam seems to be a massive problem and the program’s technical lead is having to resort apparently to sending signals to the coaches about this in interviews because they apparently don’t want to listen.  But if the US has a beam problem, and they do, you really aren’t putting a garbage beam score up in qualification assuming your other three scores will hit.

In sum:  Oof(os)

[ziggysims]

I’m sorry you don’t need to read this post but I needed to vent about my life 🥴

I know I never post on here and nobody knows who I am but I feel like I just need to vent and get my thoughts out in the open and I don’t have anyone in my life to talk to about this. So here goes...

I’m in my final year of my degree and it’s getting to the point that after this year, I’m going to have to enter the work force in a field I’m not interest in anymore.

I found University was my crutch, as I could rely on having three years more years of schooling after high school before I became a ‘real adult’. I thought that by the time I graduated I would have evolved and would have been ready. However, I don’t think anyone was expecting a Pandemic to happen in 2020, which has seen my past two years of university basically be online and created this bubble were I did nothing with my life.

Which is we’re my issues lie. I’m not interested in my degree or the opportunity’s it will lead too, I’m at the stage were I am applying for work experience and nothing I see interests or motivate me. I feel like I’m just making things up whenever anyone asks or questions me about after I graduate. It also doesn’t help that anyone I talk to in my degree has somewhat of a plan on what they want to do after graduation where as i have no plan or direction in life.

I have five major issue at the moment

1. I’m pretty sure I’ve f*cked my courses up and have not been doing the correct subjects and I probably won’t graduate when I wanted too. So there’s that 🙃

2. I’m not interest in my degree anymore or the careers and opportunities it offers. I also feel like I’m the only one without a plan and given that I have not made any friends in uni except this year. I’m trying really hard to continue these relationships however I’m always having to put a mask on and be someone I’m not which includes not telling people certain things about myself. This is where the third problem comes from...

3. I have no work or life experience. I have been privileged to have the parents I do and I love them very much and they have continued to support me no questions asked but I feel like a failure 😞 I’m almost 22 years old and I have never had a proper job as I have been a family caregiver for my mum since 2017 BUT that’s is just an excuse I have been telling both myself and everybody else. I could of had a job if I had tried but I was unmotivated and now I feel likes it’s too late to get a part time job anywhere and no one will hire me. Another thing that has hindered me is the fact I don’t have a drivers license, I have a lot of anxiety around driving so I’m still incredibly dependent on my parents. However, I’m current working on that and doing driving lessons but I still have a long way to go and I feel extreme anxiety when thinking or applying to job as I keep getting rejected or I never hear back from the job application.

4. Moreover, I know this is not a common wish and people have been trying to break out of this lifestyle but honestly I just want to work a boring 9 -5 office job doing nothing but writing emails, attending meeting etc and nothing else. I feel like I’m not smart enough for anything and that I have faked it through my ability to do assignments but it always entails a lot of editing and rereading. Also I feel really dumb all the time as my spelling and math is atrocious and I feel so insure in myself and my abilities. The reason I want a basic 9 - 5 is just having the life style of waking up early in the morning, going to work, coming home, having dinner and relaxing the rest of the night doing hobbies such as reading, sims and watching tv shows and having weekends off consistently to spend time doing things that interest me and having holidays maybe once a year. That’s the structure I want in life and I feel like I can never admit to that because I would of wasted me degree on nothing.

5. Lastly, this issue has nothing to do with my degree or lack of work experience but about my own confidence or lack there for and has been playing on my mid for years now. In terms of my body… I HATE it. I’m fat there is no other word for it, I weigh around 116kg and even if I try and tell myself I look pretty or not that big in the mirror as soon as I see myself in a reflection in public or photos of my self I’m horrified with how big and disgusting I really am. Ever time I leave the house I feel nervous and anxious I I constantly have to make efforts to look better and dress better then people would just to do basic things like grocery shopping. I feel judged whenever I’m in public and find that I can never order to much food or buy to much food if I’m buy myself. I also cannot shop at any normal clothing stores and feel constantly uncomfortable and unsure whenever I have to buy clothes in person. I did lose 15 kilos last year but I lost the motivation and have put nearly all of it back on. I struggle so much with weight loss as to lose any weight with my metabolism, I have to eat very little and work out constantly to see any results. However, I can’t work out in a gym as I’m still to self conscious and as i don’t live by myself I can’t control what food is in the cupboard. I know these reasons just sound like excuses, which they probably are… but food to me is such a big part of my life. I eat when I’m bored and given that I don’t have much of a social or work life I’m constantly at home except for University so I’m always snaking. I also struggle with motivation and being consistent with working out which hinders may ability to lose weight. Now, why is this such an issue? because being over weight has stopped me from doing everything and not have confidence in my self has lead me to have many regrets in life. As soon my old friends and I became 15- 16 my life started to change drastically. I wasn’t invited to parties other than birthdays and didn’t have those fun teenage years except a few occasion which I always longed for. Furthermore, I’ve never kissed or had sex with a guy and have never really talked either online or in person much at all to any guys either, I also have never had a friendship with any males my age what so ever. I feel so left out of everything people my age are doing and I never go on social media anymore, as every time I open either Instagram, Facebook or Snapchat I just feel immensely sad and insecure. Every time I open social media all I see are people from my high school doing something with their life whether that be graduating university, travelling, hanging out with friends, being in long term relationships etc I’m struck in the same place doing the same things I was going when I was 16 years old and I feel like I haven’t experienced-life and I have let go of so many opportunities or stopped myself from putting myself out there and doing things I want to do because of my weight and insecurities. Because I have isolated myself from the world even before the pandemic I’ve lost a part of myself and my personality and I have become boring and have nothing interesting about me that would make anyone stay.

I’m just a fat, ugly, boring human being who is full of regret and has wasted their life being fat, not doing anything, doing a degree I’m not interested in anymore, having no social life and not have any life experience in general.

I’m just fucked and at a point in my life we’re I don’t know what I’m going to do…

So thats everything I know nobody is really going to care but I feel like I needed to get this off my chest as it had been playing in the back of my mind the past few months and years to be honest and going into my final year has just pushed me passed the breaking point and added more stress onto the fact that I’m unhappy with the way my life has turned out 😞

So thats me....

[primrose-path-of-dalliance]

jester began falling in love with caleb in episode 103.

not any earlier in my opinion, and not later, either.

there's two elements to why i believe e103 is the turning point.

(1) the first is caleb's actions and jester's responses to them during the night they all sleep by the waterfall—his support of her idea to sleep underwater, his conversation with her after her commune with artagan, and his casting of programmed illusion in the dome.

(2) the second is the way her behavior toward caleb pivots around e103. before e103 is a noticeably different beast to how she begins to treat him after e103—the attention she pays him, her efforts to hold more standout interactions with him, and a dramatic swell of emotion and thematic meaning in these scenes’ respective subtext.

the rumblecusp arc is the point in which jester’s character growth, and caleb’s efforts to unconditionally support her, really begin to shine. throughout the complex growing pains that jester and artagan's relationship was experiencing, the one person who truly takes a moment to offer her support without any agenda or judgment is caleb.

(e103, 1:22:55, bold mine)

CALEB: You okay over there?

JESTER: (tearful) Yeah, I'm fine. Just—I'm just drawing.

CALEB: Maybe didn't go as well as you were hoping?

JESTER: Um... In some ways it went better. But no.

CALEB: I can't speak for him. But you do have us.

JESTER: I know.

CALEB: So whatever you land on, Jester, we'll make it happen.

JESTER: (shaky laugh) I have to figure out what I want to land on.

CALEB: That is the, uh—sticky wicket, isn't it?

JESTER: Yeah. Everything's confusing.

CALEB: Maybe... Maybe we sleep on it, it'll make more sense in the morning.

JESTER: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Caleb.

CALEB: I didn't do anything.

jester confesses that her commune with artagan didn’t provide the answers she was hoping for—that he knew about the curse on the island—and caleb doesn’t remark on what that seems like. he deliberately avoids speculating on why artagan is doing these things because “he can’t speak for him.” he doesn’t assume anything about what she might choose to do and explicitly leaves that choice up to her. jester vents briefly about how difficult the choice is, and caleb offers her reassurance, a reminder that some time will make things clearer. he doesn’t suggest solutions.

unlike fjord or beau, caleb doesn’t ask her to voice outright whether artagan is being a good friend. he doesn’t continually question his character and imply any personal opinions to her or what he thinks she should do. instead, he asks whether she’s okay. he listens. and he offers unconditional support.

this is consistently the stance caleb takes in the rumblecusp arc. and it’s not discussed much, i think, exactly how monumental that was to jester.

(hold on, this is a long one.)

jester is a young woman who grew up sheltered and wants to define herself outside of that shelter. for her, this campaign has essentially been a coming-of-age journey (talks for e76-77, 14:12). she is deeply sensitive to whether or not she’s respected because she’s aware of how her personality and general lack of experience makes others think she’s naive, immature, or incapable (talks for e79, 31:51).

it’s also incredibly evident that her relationship with artagan is unique. in e105 (1:15:01), jester tells the m9, “he really got me through a lot when i was younger, you know? and he was all i had, really.” he was her best friend from childhood in a home where she spent most of her time hidden in a single room. when she was younger, the few times she left the chateau, she was bullied by other girls (e110, 3:34:59). her best friend, though? her best friend was a god. a god with an incredible sense of humor, an aggrandizing attitude, and adoring respect for a young girl in a difficult situation who had as wonderful a personality as him. in every way that matters, artagan’s friendship undoubtedly saved jester’s life.

and she is so, so aware of this. she cares for him deeply, trusts him unconditionally, and is determined to be there for the one person who had been there for her when no one else was, not even her mother.

the renegotiation of this friendship after artagan revealed his full identity was clearly extraordinarily difficult for jester. she was having to reevaluate her entire relationship with the being that pulled her through a childhood of isolation and misery, question his intentions with her and whether they could even remain friends at all. and this was amidst her arrival at a dangerous island with her other friends to help him clean up his mistakes.

asking her to make a judgment on artagan before she’s ready to do it on her own, while managing some high expectations at the same time—not only is it a lot of pressure, it’s frustrating and painful. jester did not want to judge artagan without giving him his fair due and a proper conversation. knowing that her new friends dislike her old friend, besides being hurt by it, distracted her. she had to both defend him outwardly and interrogate him internally. and if she tried to explain how important artagan is to her, a lot of vulnerability would’ve been necessary when she was trying to be a leader and seem competent and capable, instead of a child who needs patronizing guidance.

this latter point is exceptional. because jester lavorre is so vulnerable when it comes to how much she thinks her loved ones respect her and consider her a valuable, equal, and trustworthy individual. and it’s difficult to feel like you’re being valued and trusted when people are repeatedly questioning you about a person and a relationship that they don’t understand in a way that, despite genuine concern, comes across as them doubting your own judgment of one of the most intimate parts of your life.

in this precise moment in e103, caleb is the only person who acknowledges—to her in person, even—that he doesn't have any place in judging her relationship with artagan. that it’s not what she needs from him or anyone else. that he’s content waiting for her to reach a decision. that he will respect that decision.

and jester can believe him. caleb’s done nothing but remain consistent on this stance. he repeatedly supports her choices to run travelercon, trust artagan, and come to his aid.

when other party members question artagan's legitimacy, caleb is the one who almost always speaks up to support jester (some examples: e61, 30:43 / e77, 49:17 / e95, 1:09:17 and 1:15:24).

he actively and enthusiastically offers his magical talents to her to provide for the event preparations. he has a whole conversation with her in e91 (beginning 1:53:41) where he expresses his immense respect for her and her personality, explicitly validates her faith in artagan, and shows her a tangible example of how he wants to help her during the upcoming travelercon. when she suggests some ideas, despite their arguable silliness, caleb takes them at face value and openly admits his lack of expertise in this area (e91, 1:58:35).

when they first arrive at rumblecusp, he directly reassures jester about the ‘travelercon 3000’ banner she leaves on the wrong beach by mentioning that he can make her a new banner (e101, 48:18). once preparations begin in earnest, caleb expends spells very freely, including ones of higher-level, to produce whatever jester requests.

in e103, he hears out her idea of sleeping underwater and gives it equal consideration in spite of other party members trying to shoot it down. the first time she suggests it (36:23), caduceus comments against it and no other party member acknowledges her except for caleb, who agrees with her quietly while the others move on. the second time jester suggests it (46:08), veth comments against it and caleb steps in to openly agree that it’s a good idea, even after fjord and beau join veth in being dubious.

compare these active, consistent moments of support and validation from caleb to similarly active and consistent examples of the other attitudes that manifest during the rumblecusp arc, in contradiction to people’s apparent claims of trust (one such claim of trust: e95, 1:00:21).

plainly insulting artagan to jester as if it’s a given, such as fjord’s “he’s generally full of shit, right?” (e107, 49:42);

fjord, beau, and caduceus’s conversation about “not ruining jester’s big day,” yet distrusting artagan to the extent of planning to keep her from being alone with him, preparing to attack him should he try to sacrifice 200 people for some speculated unknown ritual and/or hurt jester, and discussing all of this behind jester’s back (e108, beginning 15:41);

caduceus’s said shift to distrust of artagan because of a semi-disturbing conversation that jester was equally a part of (e107, beginning 20:40);

and the discussion right before jester’s commune with artagan where beau questions if artagan sent them to rumblecusp knowing of the memory problems, without regard for their well-being (e103, 29:40).

the unfortunate assumption being made by these party members’ repeated questioning and protectiveness of jester is that she cannot be trusted to have good judgment. despite their familiarity with some of the context of her relationship with artagan (especially after e105), they disregard her repeatedly-expressed support of him. they indirectly disrespect her ability to judge for herself whether someone is dangerous to her or her friends. they don’t acknowledge jester’s own role in creating dubious situations and instead direct all their negative feelings and sense of fault to artagan, minimizing her agency.

the e108 conversation is a dense microcosm of how the party perpetrates these assumptions throughout the rumblecusp arc as a whole. without qualm, they discuss deliberately controlling jester’s time with artagan to ‘protect’ her and their willingness to kill the evil image they’ve constructed of him, and dodge jester directly asking them what they’re talking about—even though it is a known given that the m9 would defend her with their lives with or without any prior discussion. the purpose of holding this conversation isn’t to make sure that jester is safe. like caduceus near-explicitly says, it’s to “feel better knowing” that “anybody else was on board with this” (20:26 and 18:57)—to validate their unacknowledged distrust of jester’s judgment with each other, behind her back.

and as laura has said: jester, with her very high wisdom, tends to know what’s going on even if she acts like she doesn’t (talks for e79, 32:39).

in e103, when jester is crying because she’s found out that artagan did know about the island’s memory problems, caleb doesn’t show any sign of taking this as proof of artagan's ill intent. what he does instead: he offers compassion for her pain with zero judgment. he promises to support her, no matter what she ultimately decides to make of this information. these are offers of safety and trust, ones that jester desperately needed.

then—caleb creates a programmed illusion of the m9’s lives. and it’s beautiful.

in comparison to all the analysis prior, this moment is straightforward. jester is an artist. she paints, draws, and creates, and she loves doing it. moreover, she loves making art for other people. though she doesn’t get many chances to do so, the mural of a flowery meadow that she paints for yasha’s room in the xhorhaus is a perfect example. similarly, she enjoys the art she makes when defacing other people’s property—altered signage or statue of the platinum dragon painted in rainbow—in part because they’re gifts to the traveler. she loves making those she loves happy.

happiness and love to jester is overwhelmingly about emotional intimacy. i’ve talked about this to some degree in a previous post about jester’s jealousy. please refer there for in-depth explanation. in brief, though, she puts value on how deeply she knows a person; how often she’s been able to be there for them. this is the love she learned from her mother and from artagan, and how she continues to love once she’s older.

caleb’s arcane rendition of the m9′s lives floating around the inside of the dome is a display of exactly this kind of love. not only is it art crafted from his magic and imagination and love—it’s blatant evidence of how much he cares for every member of the party and where they’ve come from. he remembers their stories and hangs them in the air in hopes that it’ll help them resist the memory erasing. he moves the memory of yasha and zuala in a meadow over to yasha’s pillow-side so she can watch it until she falls asleep. he creates a memory for vilya of her, her husband, and her daughter, listening to and respecting the emotional gravity of what she’s confiding in them.

only a few minutes after jester’s disappointing commune with artagan and her conversation with caleb, she walks into the dome and sees this art. she laughs and stares in wonder at all the memories (e103, 1:46:08). when beau points out the humorous memories of fjord being attacked by turtles so they can all laugh, she tells caleb with equal awe and joy, “wow. this is amazing, caleb” (e103, 1:47:04).

...of course, as lovely and meaningful as these back-to-back moments were for jester, it's not quite evidence of her starting to fall in love with caleb around this time.

that’s where the following episodes come in.

[id: three screenshots of messages sent in a discord channel by the user “prim” (the op). all are timestamped to friday, august 28, 2020, the day after the live premiere of e107. the first has an additional timestamp of 12:53 PM, the second 1:03 PM, and the third 1:30 PM. they read:

honest to god though i don't know if it's just the shipper brain that is making me think laura is trying to roleplay jester beginning to reciprocate caleb's feelings [...]

like........ the golden dick hunt teasing is definitely on par with jester's past shenanigans, but the compliments have been Catching My Attention bc it's honestly not normal for jester to compliment caleb of her own volition like that, just as a one-on-one "i appreciate you" reassurance

and i'm thinking less about the spells from last night's episode (although how much jester was emphasizing the compliments made me go "awwwww") and more of the moments like jester telling caleb "that was impressive" after getting cad out of the tunnel with beau's help

but laura is absolutely a shipping troll with jester this campaign so i'm here like "I'M MAYBE 80% SURE I'M BEING FUCKED WITH BUT IT MAYBE HOLDS UP????" [...]

basically laura keeps doing things that make the alarm in my brain go off and i don't know if i'm picking up something legit or if i'm projecting my hopes, like the recent pattern of compliments from jester LOL

/end id.]

i’m not going to lie, if i try to list every single receipt like i otherwise prefer to do in these metas, i think we (and especially i) would all lose our minds. so while i’m about to provide a lot of citations, they genuinely are just a few possible examples that will mostly be within the dozen episodes after e103.

the more important detail that can be observed from this is that e103 is a turning point.

prior to e103, jester does not particularly go out of her way to interact with caleb. by and large, most of their direct interactions are either initiated by caleb or prompted by the context of a general party conversation. the majority of other moments that could be referred to as ‘widojest’ are of caleb’s evident feelings. beyond early campaign days, jester rarely teases caleb about sexual topics while insinuating things about her own sexual life at the same time.

after e103, laura and jester begin to go out of their way to interact with and intertwine jester’s time with caleb.

the rate of jester’s compliments and enthusiastic gratitude to caleb skyrocket (some examples: e104, 30:36 / e107, 16:49 and 1:11:28 and 1:12:15 and 3:10:39 / e110, 15:58 and 3:37:24 / e111, 36:15 and 38:41 and 50:58);

several mature jokes/flirtations she makes involve both caleb and herself (examples: e107, 1:16:17 / e110, 1:18:07 / e115, 1:52:53);

she deliberately and specifically engages caleb in full-blown interactions, such as the conversations during the tour of her childhood bedroom (e110, beginning 1:11:38), hanging out with him on the icebreaker ship (e112, beginning 3:45:29), and the reading of der katzenprinz (e115, beginning 1:52:43);

as well as the expansion of more extended ‘conversations’ like their motif of dancing (e108, 13:39 / e109, 2:54:14), their parental relationships (e110, 20:44 and 3:38:41 / e115′s der katzenprinz / e121, beginning 1:52:12), and polymorph shenanigans (examples: e107, beginning 2:58:41 / e117, beginning 1:13:55 / e118, 43:57).

thrown in are additional background details that further tie jester to caleb, such as her determination to recover caleb’s amulet after their defeat of vokodo (e106, 25:33), the knowing comments on his purchasing of paper (e109, 22:32 / e111, 1:25:49), her deliberate choice to ride whaleb during the avantika chase (e113, 2:32:28), her retrieval of caleb’s coat when he’s attempting to remove the necromantic emerald (e115, 1:30:56), and her deliberate reference to der katzenprinz to iver (e120, 3:05:14);

and simply everything about the tower. it’s another example of the art and creativity caleb produces with his magic to make his loved ones happy, which jester acknowledges at least twice (refer to the e111 compliments). contrarily, jester also makes note of the signs that this tower shows less love to caleb than she thinks he deserves, in keeping with her value of emotional intimacy (e115’s der katzenprinz / e122’s floor 8, room 1).

the reading of der katzenprinz in e115 is arguably the pinnacle of these examples. it’s intentionally initiated by jester. she both takes the step to visit caleb's room and indirectly requests him to read the story to her. laura’s implication that she remembered this subplot because of beau’s reading of a very romantic letter from yasha is particularly suggestive. the story itself incorporates many similar characters and themes that are present in jester’s backstory: the lonely, sheltered boy and his single working mom as jester and marion; the dubious cat prince who ultimately gives the boy freedom and confidence as artagan; and the deep love between the boy and his mother because of how they only have each other, which compels a powerful being to have compassion and thus set the boy free so that they can be together. very similar to both jester’s depth of relationship with her mother and her pleas on artagan’s behalf to the moonweaver’s celestial servant.

and the post-story conversation—caleb’s confiding of its importance to him because of his mother. jester’s open willingness to compare the cat prince to artagan, knowing that caleb respects their friendship and has treated artagan fairly. jester’s lingering, repeated looks toward caleb while smiling and holding her copy of der katzenprinz to her heart.

with all this dramatic expansion of the emotional and thematic intimacy between jester and caleb beginning to roll down the hill after e103—in brilliant contrast to their more muted, less reciprocal dynamic before this episode—e103 is more than likely the turning point of jester’s feelings. and based on the events and context, it was caused by the combined emotional appeal of caleb’s offer of unconditional support and his display of love for his family in the programmed illusion of memories.

[turtle-go-brrrr]

General bayverse headcanons part 2

Splinter

A very light sleeper

Anytime something happens in the lair, he knows

He knows so many of his son’s secrets but act as if he didn’t to protect their feelings

Like that one time he saw Leo flex in front of his mirror (he never did it again because ‘what if it was Raph or Mikey’)

Or that one time he went to ask Donnie a question and realized too late he was having some... alone time... and Donnie tried to play it off to save what was left of his dignity: “haha no I’m not doing anything, I’m fine, how can I help you?” but left a tab open

Let’s just say Splinter knows way more about his sons than he wish he did

He feels honored every time one of them, or hell, April or Casey, come to him for advice or just to vent

He’s jsut so happy to know they trust him

He loves watching movies with them

Doesn’t really understand pop culture but is thrilled when they take the time to explain it to him anyway

He keeps every single drawing Mikey ever made him, he has multiple boxes of them and he keeps his favorite in his room

It takes so much space, but they’re really important to him

Raph made him a really soft scarf that he wears every time they go to the surface (it reassures him)

He also has a sweater and a blanket, and he loves bragging about them: “Oh, this? Yes, my son made it for me :) Isn’t he talented :)”

He finds Donnie’s smarts both impressive and intimidating

Sometimes he’s scared he will never truly understand him or that he won’t have anything else to teach him

But then Donnie comes to him when he can’t sleep or had a nightmare, and he feels warm inside

He’s really scared for Leo

He has so much pressure on his shoulder and so many responsabilities, he’s terrified he will break someday

But Leo knows he can count on his family to support him if anything turns sour and is learning to open up (thanks to Splinter)

All in all, he’s the proudest dad there could be and definitely bragged and showed embarassing memories to April and Casey when they joined the mutants

His favorite animal is the canary

April

Mom Friend ™ 

She’s the one to bring them snacks or useless trinkets they might like

Leo thinks it’s stupid and they should hoard that kind of things

(he does anyway)

She’s also the one to bring medical supplies to the lair when they’re getting short on them

She knows many people because of her job, and comes so often to the pharmacy that the people who work her eknow her and know to not ask too many questions

She doesn’t care about the sight of blood but the smell makes her sick

She still follows Splinter’s instruction when doing stitches and she took a few first aid courses with Casey

She’s the one who takes care of the biggest bugs of the lair

She’s also the one they all go to when they have an embarrassing question to ask (the kind of stuff you’re too embarrassed to ask one of your parents, no matter how close you are)

Doesn’t really listen to anyone, really

Except maybe Splinter from time to time

But like, if she wants to investigate something messy or dangerous, she won’t let anyone stop her

She won’t run straight into danger, she’s not stupid, but she’s not gonna back off just because it might be dangerous

“Okay, April, I’m sorry but you’ll have to sit this one out, it’s way too dangerous for a hum-” “She’s already inside”

 She’s brave like that <3

The best at Just Dance

Even beat Raph from time to time

She has a terrible singing voice tho and loves to scream-sing just because she knows it drives Leo crazy

Sometimes will get picked up by one of the boys and just acts as if nothing hapened and keep talking about whatever the conversation was while being carried around everywhere

Speaks 3 other languages to varying degrees of fluentness: Spanish (fluent), French (still learning but she’s getting there), Arabic (beginner)

She knows insults in a lot of other languages tho (you know, just in case ;) )

The only one who doesn’t pull pranks on Casey (she takes pity on him and he gives her kisses when she takes his side so win-win)

Her favorite animal is the fox

Casey

Pray for him

He’s so fed up with their sibling nonsense

He’s always in the middle of their fights and he’s tired of this

But he’s even more tired of being the victim of their endless pranks (especially Raph and Mikey)

The payback is worth it tho

Surprisingly good with kids

Especially troubled kids (he used to be one, so he knows what to say to help them)

Also really found of small animals

Unlike Mikey who talks to them as equals, Casey baby talks and it’s both adorable and kind of silly

He’s well known in most of the rescue centers of the city because he always brings in stray animals here

Also volunteer in some of them from time to time

He’s really conflicted because of all of the horrible things othe cops do  and he often wants to quit because of that

But if he leaves, he knows no one will try to make a change

He believes he can make things right and tries his best to callout his collegues when they say or do fucked up things

Also completely understand all the hate against cops, and don’t hesitate to let everyone know it’s justified when his colleagues try to play the victim

Despite his anger issues he tries to keep a level head when on the job

He wants to be a good cop, but being a good person is even more important (and almost got him fired multiple times, the only thing keeping him from that being his connection to Chief Vincent)

This is why he’s also doing his vigilante stuff at night

He knows that sometimes, the law won’t protect the most vulnerable people

But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t

Once accidentally cut himself on the left with a piece of glass

He broke a glass jar, cleaned it up but forgot one little piece, and later stepped on it

It didn’t cut his foot, but he felt something under it and tried to get it off by rubbing his foot against his leg

Hence the stupid cut

Most of his scars aren’t really from his numerous fights, they’re just stupid injuries like that

His favorite animal is the cheetah

[aggravatetheaxe]

BO SINCLAIR X READER - Waffle House Pt. 1

You're a server at the south's greatest and best-loved institution: Waffle House. The graveyard shift can be tough, but you can usually find ways to entertain yourself. Turns out tonight's entertainment is named Bo, and he wants to know if you're on the menu.

I wrote this especially for my friend Zin! This title is SAFE FOR WORK. Pt. 2 is NSFW (and in Bo's POV!)

Soundtrack: Diner Ambience ; Rain ; Faint Hard Rock

Words: 3,269

Part 2

Part 3

Masterlist

***

READER POV

It was raining when he came in, a light rain that tapped on the windows and made you want to leave your shift at Waffle House early to crawl into your warm bed. He was just some guy—average, white, brown hair, blue eyes. And yet you felt compelled to watch him as he tapped his dripping boots against the door and shook out his hat.

Wow.

You were new to the overnight shift. It was mostly truckers coming up and down the interstate, guys who just wanted to tuck into a warm meal and leave. They tipped well, too, so you didn't mind. It wasn't like your sleep schedule wasn't fucked anyway. May as well make some money while you were up all night.

This was the first time you'd had a physical reaction to any guy who'd walked in. You completely forgot about the orange juice you were in the process of putting away. You could feel your heart race as he gazed around the restaurant, and when his eyes found yours and he flashed you that grin?

Wow.

He took a seat at the breakfast bar, right in front of you, like he could sense your pulse quickening. "Evenin'."

Right, you were supposed to greet him. "Hi, there. Can I getcha some coffee?"

"That'd be real welcome, [miss / sir]." His crow's feet wrinkled, and he set his hat aside on the counter. His twang sounded so good mixing with the classic rock pouring from the speakers that you had to bite your lip to keep from sighing. "Sure is comin' down out there."

"Yeah," you agreed with a breathless laugh. God, did you sound stupid? You turned quickly, retrieving a mug and the fresh pot you'd just finished brewing. "How do you like it?"

"If you bring me the fixin's, I'll do it up," he said easily. When you turned and handed him the mug, his eyes found your chest, staring at your name tag for an extended moment. Then, his gaze crawled to yours. "Y/N."

Your face was so hot you wondered if he could see you blushing. Rather than say anything stupid, you practically shoved ramekins of creams and sugars at him, then mumbled some excuse or another before disappearing into the kitchen.

Pressed against the wall, you took a few deep breaths. You saw a hundred men every shift, some of them quite handsome, and yet this guy was standing out to you. Why, you had no idea, but you had a table of college kids to wait on and three other people at the counter ... you couldn't be fixated on this one person.

The cook glanced up at you, then did a double take, frowning. "You okay? Look like you're about to pass out."

Worried your Average Man had heard him, you cleared your throat and announced, "I was just getting some straws," before grabbing a handful and exiting.

You shoved the straws in your apron, trying to avoid eye contact with the man ... but as you poured refills and took orders, you found it hard not to glance over at him. He was just sitting, enjoying his coffee, but every so often, you could feel him watching you from the corner of his eye.

You knew you couldn't put off talking to him for long. You had to take his order, after all, and he'd been patient. As you walked back to him, he looked up, smiling brightly. "Welcome back."

"Thanks." Why were you thanking him? Jesus Christ, you sounded like an idiot. "Ready to order?"

He laughed a little, carding a hand through his slightly damp curls. "Once you give me a menu, darlin', I reckon I won't be long."

"Oh, sh— shoot." You scrambled to grab him a menu, slapping it down in front of him. "Sorry. It's been a long night."

"No worries." As he flipped the menu open, he nodded to his coffee cup. "Can I get some more a that, sweetpea?"

"Of course." Man, you were really fucking up this serving thing tonight.

By the time you'd grabbed the pot and refilled him, he'd set the menu down and was ready with two white packets between his fingers. He tore them both open in one motion, then looked at you, smirking. "Extra sugar. Don't tell."

Shit, you can have all the sugar you want. But your mouth was not half as dirty as your mind, and so you just smiled back, trying so hard to keep from giggling. "So, what'll it be?"

"I'll get the, uh ... Texas bacon patty melt with hashbrowns."

"Sure. How you want those hashbrowns?"

"Just plain. Actually, make 'em smothered. Oh, an' a side of biscuits 'n' gravy, please."

"You got it." You jotted the order down quickly and passed it through the kitchen window, readying yourself to move on to the next customer for your own sanity.

But it was the man's voice that drew you back to the counter: "Hey..."

You turned. He was about to ask you a question, you could tell from the tone of his voice. "What's up?"

"I'm not really from around here." His smile was friendly enough, but his shocking blue eyes seemed almost calculating. "S'pretty late, an' I don't feel like sleepin' in the truck again. You know any good motels 'round here?"

It didn't even occur to you in the moment that he could be flirting. "Well, there's a Motel 6 not far from here ... a Red Roof a few miles down the interstate. Those'll probably be your best options in terms of good quality."

His expression shifted a bit, but then his smile widened, crow's feet wrinkling again. "All right. Thanks, sugar."

Sugar. You weren't new to being called that—you lived in the south, after all—but something about the way he said it...

You tried to get him off your mind the rest of the night, but it was kind of difficult. Even after he'd finished his food, he lingered, draining coffees and flipping through a newspaper someone had left on the stool next to him. He got up to go to the restroom a couple times, but besides that, he stayed planted right in front of you, where it was impossible to ignore him.

It was an hour and thirty minutes later that your shift ended. You gathered your things, and as you headed toward the door, you weren't surprised to find him still there.

For some reason, only then did his lingering presence give you pause. Why was he hanging around a Waffle House at 3 a.m., anyway? He'd said he wasn't from around here ... had he gotten kicked out or something? Chosen a direction on the interstate and just started going?

Poor guy. You bit your lip, going back and forth with yourself for a few moments before your pity won out. "Hey, sir."

He looked over his shoulder, forehead wrinkling.

"Um, you take care. Lindsey'll ring you up whenever you're ready."

He cracked a smile and waved. "Take care, darlin'."

You tried to ignore the way your heart fluttered at those words.

The sky was just beginning to turn the color of dusk, but it was still raining as you exited the restaurant and headed to your car. Your keys jingled as you wrestled them out of the pocket of your jacket. It took you a moment to find the keyhole in the driver's side door, squinting through the rain like you were.

The inside of the car was blissfully dry, and as you slammed the door and blocked out the pounding rain, you closed your eyes and pushed out a long breath. It was time to go home—have some dinner of your own, maybe some tea, then collapse in bed.

That thought finally moved you to put the key in the ignition and turn.

And turn.

...And turn.

Well, you were the only one turning, because the engine certainly fucking wasn't.

Dread crawled up your spine and gripped the back of your neck. What? How could something like this happen? You'd just paid through the nose for a ton of repairs and an inspection. How could your engine just...

Anxiety floated you as you climbed out of the car, braving the rain to look under the hood. But hell, you barely knew which one was the engine, let alone how to fix it if it was broken. Your hands shook as you fumbled for the hood prop, heat climbing your face and stinging your eyes. How were you gonna get this fixed? How would you even afford it? Below minimum wage and tips from truckers wasn't going to cut it.

You turned, leaning against the side of the car and taking your cellphone from your other pocket. The tears finally fell once you realized that you didn't have anyone to call. You slammed the hood of the car and covered your face.

"Hey."

The voice, raised over the downpour, made you jump. You'd been standing in the rain for a few minutes, sobbing your eyes out, and you were completely soaked through. The rain and the heat of your tears fogged your glasses so bad, you couldn't see who was there no matter how you squinted.

"Hey," he said again, much closer now. You recognized the twang.

Quickly, you grabbed your glasses off, wiping them against your shirt before replacing them. You could see the Average Man much more clearly now, watching you but keeping his distance.

"Hi," you managed, sniffling hard.

His face fell. In a few seconds, he was beside you, offering you a hanky from his back pocket. With a little mumble of thanks, you wiped your face and blew your nose. The hanky smelled like motor oil and musk. He was close enough for you to smell him, too, feel the heat coming off his body.

For some reason, that made you cry harder.

He clicked his tongue above you. "Why you cryin', darlin'? It's pourin' out; you're gonna get soaked."

"My ... my car," you managed, gesturing helplessly.

"Oh? Somethin' wrong with your car?"

"Yeah. And I don't know jack shit except the model and year." You vented your frustration in a hard exhale, wringing his hanky. "I just got it inspected, too."

The man paused for a moment. "Well, hey, I'm a mechanic. I could take a look if ya like."

You raised your head, wiping your glasses again. "I— no, it's fine. It's raining out, you don't have to..."

"I don't mind," he said dismissively, opening the hood with one hand and propping it up. "Pretty thing like you shouldn't cry like that."

Again, you found yourself staring at him. This man definitely gave off an ... energy, calling you pretty while fixing your car. For a stranger, he was certainly taking control of a situation he hadn't even been aware of a minute ago. You'd been well aware he was attractive and compelling, but this was a whole new level. You were so taken off guard you couldn't think of a response.

"Go ahead and climb in front," the man said, waving you that way. "Try 'n' start it when I knock on the window."

"Okay." You slid into the front seat again, waiting for his command. He knocked once, and you turned the key.

No luck. You hesitated before knocking back.

Another knock. No luck. After the third, he rapped on the driver's side window instead, and you opened the door for him.

He was soaked. His clothes were drenched to his skin, his hair curling wildly around his ears and forehead. "No luck, darlin'. Think your engine's shot."

You felt your face crumple, any hope you'd had now crushed. It was four-something in the morning. Where were you going to get a ride home let alone a tow truck? And then how were you going to pay for it all?

"You gonna be okay?"

His words shook you out of your reverie. Your chest felt cold and numb ... the beginnings of a panic attack starting to take hold. "I just ... I don't know what I'm gonna..." You clenched your hands, freezing and trembling, and inhaled shakily.

"Listen," he said after a few moments, glancing up at the sky. "It's real shitty out, if you'll pardon my French, an' I don't feel right leavin' you all alone out here..." He sighed, almost grimacing. "You want a ride? I can getcha home, you can rest an' make your phone calls in the mornin'."

Getting into a stranger's car ... it was the most stereotypical thing in the world, but you didn't see any way you could turn down the offer. He seemed nice enough, and if it came down to it, you could run if not defend yourself...

At this point, you'd risk anything to be somewhere warm and cozy instead of in this stupid, freezing parking lot.

"I don't want to ... inconvenience you," you said weakly.

"It's no bother." His smile tightened a bit. "I'd rather you say yes or no so I can get out of this downpour."

You slipped out of your car, shutting and locking it behind you. Hopefully it would be alright for the night. "As long as you don't mind, mister."

The man simply smirked in response, slamming your hood and heading for his truck. It was a beat-up Chevy in dire need of a paint job, but it was running, which was more than you could say for your own vehicle. He opened the passenger side door, then shut it behind you, hurrying himself out of the rain. The pickup's vintage interior smelled faintly of cigarettes as you slid into place, buckling in.

He swore softly as he climbed in beside you and started the truck. Heat blasted through the air vents, and you relaxed a little. It smelled musty and old in here, but the engine sounded good, and whatever problems there were were easily smoothed over by the handsome company and the rock droning from the radio.

"Name's Bo, by the way." He spared you a smile as he backed out of his parking space. "Only fair you know mine since I know yours." When you balked, he laughed. "Your name tag, remember?"

"Oh. Right. Duh."

The man—Bo—took it in stride. "You must be beat as hell, shift like that. Betcha can't wait to get home and curl up in bed."

"Yeah," you replied, giggling awkwardly.

Bo smiled. God, he was so pretty. "Don't blame ya. I'm dog tired myself. Do just about anything for a drink and a soft bed right now." A chuckle. "Guess I'll just have to settle for a beer and a motel mattress."

Again, you giggled awkwardly.

On the other hand, he wasn't awkward at all. In fact, he seemed perfectly comfortable carrying the conversation, as if he'd gotten the script before you and rehearsed his lines a thousand times. "So where'm I headed?"

"Oh, uh, take the next exit..."

You continued to navigate for him, but you were working from memory, your eyes barely on the road. You couldn't help but watch his hands as he maneuvered the truck. They looked strong and warm, with fine hairs near his wrist, and on his right hand, a signet ring glistened in the low light. When he stroked and squeezed the steering wheel, his muscles and skin shifted beautifully over his knuckles.

You kinda wished you were that steering wheel.

Eventually, the truck pulled up to your apartment building, engine purring as it idled. "This the one?"

"Yeah." You clutched your things closer and smiled over at Bo. "Thank you for this. Really, I don't know what..."

You'd been about to say I don't know what I can do to repay you, but the state he was in, it wasn't hard to guess what he needed. Not only was he drenched, but he looked half-dead with exhaustion despite that easy smile of his.

Even as you opened your mouth, you knew this was a crazy idea.

"Do you ... want to come in for a minute? I can at least get you a towel, um, and maybe some cash for taking you out of your way."

Bo paused. He had an expressive face—you could see him weighing his options. "What the hell," he sighed, giving a tight white-guy smile before cutting the engine. "Sure."

Your heart leapt. You had half expected him to turn you down out of politeness, but you supposed you had inconvenienced him. Excitement mixed with terror at the thought of having this man—a stranger—in your apartment. Alone with you.

But it was a little too late to back out now. You slipped out of the truck and led him quickly up the front steps, then the interior stairs to your apartment. As always, your building smelled like Second Floor's cats and First Floor's cheap weed. Bo only stood behind you, hat in his hand, nice and polite as he waited for you to unlock your door.

"Home sweet home," you said, laughing awkwardly as you stepped in.

Bo gave a cursory glance around the place but didn't seem to feel one way or the other about your decor, simply smiling at you. He sure did know how to make people feel at ease. This almost didn't feel like an insanely stupid idea.

"Make yourself at home. I'll go get a towel. Um, and I can get you a drink. What do you like?"

"I'm not fussy, but I'll take whiskey if you have it."

Your place was so small, you were able to carry on the conversation while you hurried to the bathroom and grabbed a fresh towel from the cabinet. "I think one of my friends left some behind the last time she was over. Wild Turkey? It's bourbon?"

"That'll do." When you brought him the towel, he gave you one of those dazzling grins in return. "Much obliged, darlin'."

God, you just wanted to stand there and take him in while he toweled himself off, but you forced yourself not to, instead going into the small kitchen and fetching the whiskey. You weren't much of a drinker yourself, but you'd seen your friends drink plenty, so you poured a couple fingers in a wide glass and brought it out. He had already made himself quite comfortable on your couch, leaned back, legs spread, arm across the back of it.

"I hope it's not irresponsible of me to give you a drink when you're gonna be driving," you said as you handed him the whiskey.

He chuckled. "Don't you worry about me. I've pro'lly driven worse off a thousand times." He threw it back in one go, and you watched his slightly stubbly throat bob as he swallowed smoothly. He practically moaned, "That's it," before wiping his mouth. Looking you up and down, "None for you, sugar?"

It took you a moment to find your voice. "I don't really drink much. Tastes like paint thinner to me."

That drew a laugh from him. "Sacrilege." Then a hum. "You don't have to stand there, y'know. It is your house."

Sitting next to him would mean his arm was practically wrapped around your shoulder. An edge of wariness was beginning to press against your thundering heart. This was such a terrible idea, for so many different reasons.

You approached slowly, lingering before him. The way he looked up at you through his lashes, body sunk into your couch, nearly made your mouth water. He lifted his glass slightly. "Think I'm good for one more ... if ya don't mind."

***

Part 2

Masterlist

[kavikaslana]

Can I please request for LoV content though this time the reader isn’t anyone’s s/o per say, just like everyone’s mama in a sense, always being the one who care for them and give them love, big spooning, cuddle, help them with various stuff. And because they are ‘LoV mama’ they are quiet dominant and everyone listens to them and respect them. Can I get headcannons for LoV interactions with her? And if possible for another post a sequel of how they will react when they found out that she has a lover who basically babies her and she likes it too. How will they react? Will they treat her differently? Jealous? Thank you so much!!!!! 💕💕💕💕

Awwwww 🥺 just let me know if you want me to tag you whenever I do the other post ❤️ it got really laggy before I could add more so… :’)

Just some small stuff, I’ll do like one shots and the other thing in another post or two if you want me to tag you or somethin lol

Part 2

Kurogiri

Lemme tell you right now, he is absolutely relieved because now he’s got someone else to “babysit” the league

He finally feels comfortable enough to have a day just to himself

^ He’s just happy he doesn’t have to constantly worry about Dabi burning down their base, or Shigaraki turning Toga to dust

He’s kind of like a kid in a way

^ Like he’s looking for praise in a way, but not really

Encourage him when he’s doing a good job

Let him vent when a certain brat pisses him off

And PLEASE help him discipline said brat

^ He will literally beg you, just do it please

He definitely appreciates you the most out of everyone

He likes getting a pat on the back when he’s doing a good job, or even just having a drink with you when “handjob” is finally asleep I had to I’m sorry I love that nickname so much

You’ve got either really insulting nicknames or really sweet ones for everyone in the league, but you guys only use them when it’s just you two

You guys randomly get Magne pride stuff, like the transgender flag or those pins you find everywhere during pride month

^ Sometimes Toga too

^ And you if you’re part of it, but he goes without you if it’s for you, because then it wouldn’t be a surprise

He likes head pats but that’s all he’s comfortable with

Shigaraki

Ok, he’s definitely a bitch to you too

^ at first at least

In general, he didn’t really like people and his tolerance for everyone was pretty low for a long time

The only people he interacted with were the same few people, and they basically spoiled and groomed him, so it takes him the longest to warm up to you

He doesn’t like being told no, so expect him to act like a toddler when you tell him he can’t do something

He does kind of like having another decent parental figure even though in his head afo’s a good dad

He might invite you to go with him to GameStop or something like that

^ Or maybe just to grab a quick snack from a ramen shop or something along the lines of that

He’s somewhere between a moody teenager and a four year old, just remember that

Please don’t get mad at him, he feels bad after an hour or two

^ Kurogiri has to make him apologize for whatever he did though because he’s too stubborn to do it himself

He lets you pick out one of his good controllers and headsets so you can play with him in your own room, or with him, he doesn’t mind

Once he’s fully comfortable with you, he’s clingy as hell

Always asks for hugs or head scratches, most likely both

He tries his best not to snap at you like he does with everyone else, and he probably has the most patience with you

He doesn’t really cuddle with you since it’d be a little weird if you guys aren’t dating, but he does hug you from behind every once in a while

Likes to be close to you in general

He likes when you take care of his scars and wounds for him, or when you get him to stop scratching his neck

^ Cause it shows you care, and he doesn’t really think anyone really does except for Kurogiri and AFO

Probably the touchiest one

Expect to be giving him some form of attention every second, whether it’s talking to him or just holding his wrist

Probably the one that enforces your rules honestly (if you have any)

Basically he’s a simp, but like the platonic kind of simp

Dabi

Dabi’s a bit like Shigaraki

It does take him a bit to open up, but only about half the amount of time it takes Shigaraki to

He does feel bad when you get mad, and it takes him about the same amount of time to feel guilty

He definitely invites you to go places with him, but it’s usually a bar or a good spot to commit arson

He’s basically a moody teenager, that’s it, so he’s at least manageable

Sometimes he goes with you to get snacks or drinks (soft drinks basically), but if he does, expect to be the one paying

Might give you a cigarette every once in a while if you smoke, and he always offers to light it for you

He definitely likes to vent to you about his day, or how Shigaraki’s been bugging him more than usual

^ It’s mainly because you’re the only one that listens though mainly

^ He still appreciates it though, don’t get it wrong

One of his favorite pastimes is to walk around the city at night with you and maybe Kurogiri

He’s not very touchy in general, so don’t expect anything more than a pat on the back

Sometimes though, if you want a hug or something he’ll let you get one from him

He’s still not touchy at all, so don’t ask for very much

^ Lemme put it this way, expect more from pretty much everyone else except him

Spinner

He always runs to you about Dabi picking on him for his quirk when Kurogiri’s not around

Sometimes he asks you to play a game with him, but not very often

^ Even Shigaraki probably asks more than Spinner does

He’s pretty quiet with you most of the time, and he won’t usually talk to you unless you start a conversation

^ Basically he only talks to you when he needs to

He’s not exactly the kind of guy that’ll go out for food with you since his quirk makes him pretty easy to spot, but he does offer to help cook every once in a while

He likes to show you his collection of knockoff stain clothing

He has made efforts to try to get to know you more, but he’s a little shy

Get him Stain merch and you’ll automatically be his favorite out of everyone in the league

^ Shigaraki might kill you though, just a heads up

Don’t touch him unless you’re treating his wounds, he’s worse than Dabi is

Magne

She loves going out with you and Toga

^ Could be for food, or maybe clothes shopping, hell, even just a walk

^ She just likes spending time with you, but yes, it is preferred if Toga and Twice could come along

She’s gotta be the sweetest person out of the whole league

She’s probably called you her sibling a few times just so you know her opinion on you

You’ve got at least a few matching shirts and jackets with her and Toga

She probably offers to help you around the base more than anyone (except kurogiri)

You’re definitely in the top 3 favorites

She likes to do skincare routines with Toga, Twice, and you

Definitely paints her nails and asks you how it looks first

She’s totally onboard with you sitting in her lap, but it’s just for hugs, don’t get it mixed up

She’s probably one of the touchiest people out of the league

^ Not nearly as much as Shig, but she’s probably third

Toga

You’re a sibling too, 100%

She asks you to sharpen and clean her knives daily, but she always repays the favor by helping you cook or by cleaning 2-3 rooms

She’s given you one of her favorite knives to keep for your birthday, or just any special event of yours

She always asks you to put her hair up for her, and if your hair is long enough, she asks if she can do your hair

She’s really picky about anything she gets you, and she always pays attention to the smallest details in everything she gives you

She’s given you quite a lot of jewelry she stole from corpses, whether you wear it or not

^ You can sell it too, and she’s fine with it, just tell her thank you first though

She always wants to watch you cook and she’s even tried to make your favorite food once or twice with Kurogiri and Magne

She asks you to paint her nails for her, even if you’re not good at it, since one hand always turns out better than the other

Face masks and cleansers are a must, she prefers if you do more skincare stuff with her, but that’s the bare minimum

Definitely has a picture of you, Magne, her, and Twice as the wallpaper on her phone

She’s somewhat touchy, she’s all for hugs and maybe hand holding every once in a while

^ That’s it though

Twice

He likes to smoke with you (if you do)

^ If you don’t, he still likes to talk to you when he does

He’s really interested in your hobbies and what you like to do

He’s comfortable with taking off his mask fully when it’s just you two and no one else

He thinks your laugh is cute in the same way a puppy’s cute

He likes being cared for by you, and you’re always going to be in his top 3

His all-time favorite thing about you is just the simple fact that you accept him for who he is, flaws and all

He comes to you for head pats at least four times a day, and he likes holding your hand because it makes him feel safe and secure

He loves how gentle you are with him, and how you try your best to understand him

^ He does feel extremely bad when he involuntarily insults you

^ Tell him you know he didn’t mean it and that you still like him please

He loves cuddles, but only when he’s tired

^ It’s usually just him laying his head on your shoulder though

Again, having you around in general makes him feel safe

So after a long day of fighting heroes, he just wants to sit with you until he falls asleep

Compress

He basically the only other person besides Kurogiri that doesn’t have the mindset of a 15 year old or younger

It’s nice that he’s got someone other than Kurogiri to talk to now

He offers to help with chores the most

Likes to entertain you with magic tricks, and he always shows you his newest tricks first

^ Please tell him he did a good job and that it was convincing

He knows a good deal about you, like your favorite food and your favorite spot in the city

Sometimes he goes on walks with you when the tension after a mission dies down

He takes you out for food once or twice a week, and for a snack run every other week

^ He always gets a lot of stuff though, so it’s ok

He’s always the first to notice anything about you, like a new haircut or a new shirt

^ He’s always the first to compliment you on it too

On a scale of 1-10, he’s probably a 3 as far as being touchy goes

He appreciates praise and maybe pats on the back, but he doesn’t really care much about themselves

He doesn’t really actively seek your attention like Shigaraki does, but he doesn’t complain when he gets it

[teddy06writes]

The Phantom Of The Opera AU

requested by this anon: “Okay so I know you’re a musical kid so you have probably listened to/heard of Phantom of the Opera. Picture this: Dream as the Phamtom x Fem!reader as Christine x Sapnap as Raul”

Dream x Fem!reader and Sapnap x fem!reader (with dream as the phantom and sapnap as Raul)

trigger warnings: death, dream being a low key creeper, maybe some swears, my general lack of knowledge of this musical

premise: Phantom AU, not neccicarily the full story, its mainly what I’ve seen/read/listened to that I think is important, and like eight of the songs. Ummm, I feel like the summary above is enough for you to get the general idea.

(y/l/n)- your last name

“blep” regular talking

“Belp” singing

When things are in counterpoint, regular text will be (y/n), (text in parenthesis is sapnap), and {bracketed text is Dream}

if you, like me are unfamilliar with the story, this is the summary that arrived in my inbox last night (thank you so much to the person who sent that by the way, it really helped)  

“So basically phantom of the opera is a love triangle between 3 people, the Phantom (P) x Christine (C) x Raul (R). C and R were childhood friends until R had to move away. C grew up in the Opera house with her dad (deceased) as a music writer. C grows up getting “private” singing lessons from P ( he is literally talking to her through a vent ((Among Us omg)) or something idk). Fast forward into the future to present day. C is a ballerina at the opera and one day, the phantom makes the set malfunction so that the lead female opera singer (she’s a jerk. Forgot her name) can’t preform and C has to preform as the lead instead. Coincidentally, the night Christine sings as the lead is the day R comes to see her show and R is like “ooWooga she be fine now ig”. R and C catch up after the show and R goes away for a minute and then P is like “aight C imma kidnap you for a sec with no purpose whatsoever to the plot except for a cool song” and then C returns to her normal life ig. P them sends stuff to the people in charge of the Opera saying “ayo C be pretty fine, let her be the lead again” the people in charge of the opera were like “nah fam, let’s have the person who was supposed to be the lead be the lead”. Upset by this, during the show, P broke the chandelier and it fell into the audience. C is like “I love you uwu” R is like”let’s get engaged” C is like “let’s keep it a secret so the crazy P guy doesn’t find out” and little did they know during that conversation P was hiding and overheard everything and is now sad boi hours. A masquerade happens and P shows up like “ayo I heard you trynna steal my boo” and R is like “nah she my boo” and they duel or whatever. Idk how it transitions to this but the Opera runs another show and they make C the lead to not upset P. However, during a love song (Past the point of no return, it literally slaps), C realizes that the person singing isn’t the original actor, it is P! And then P straight up kidnaps C after the song, takes her to his lair and is like “boo you gotta marry me or I destroy the opera house with everyone inside it” C is like “fine ig” P takes off his mask and reveals he is hiding burn marks and he kisses C and C kisses back. P is like” my mom never even kissed me” and P let’s C go, telling her to go marry R... or you can just watch this video lmao https://youtu.be/4a5nahw3zi8″

On that note, here we go:

{that only goes for the final scene where its all three, it varies otherwise}

{Things I have learned while preparing this story, 1. the actual phantoms name is Erik, like what a nerd, 2. he’s also not actually a ghost??? He’s literally just some creeper who lives in an opera house screwing with people; also yes Eret is the strict lady who yells at everyone and talks to the phantom, deal with it}

{pls send me more musical au asks I really liked doing this, even if it took me a while}

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The ravenous applause of the audience seemed to echo in your ears, even after you had left the stage. 

You’re debut as the female lead in Hannibal had been a smashing success, and as the rest of the chorus girls backstage were saying, it was all thanks to the Phantom scaring Hannah off.  

Niki practically ran up to you from the rehearsal room, “(y/n) that was incredible!” 

You grinned, “Oh I feel like I’m floating Niki! Thank you for volunteering me for the role.” 

“Don’t thank me, Thank whoever's giving you those lessons,” She bumped her hip against yours, grinning cheekily, “And if what the girls are saying is true you’ll have to thank him for getting Hannah out of here.” 

You chuckled, but before you could say anything else Madame Eret was approaching, knocking the end of their cane of the ground, “Miss Nihachu, you are a dancer are you not?” 

Niki nodded. 

“Then get back to rehearsal,” he waited until Niki hurried off to turn to you, “He is most pleased with your performance, here.”

You took the note from him, reading over it quietly, “Red scarf..... the attic.... little lotte?” 

She simply shrugged, leaving you to turn and head up your dressing room. 

As you changed out of your costume from the show you couldn’t help but hum the song that had earned the most applause, “Think of me, think of me of me fondly, when we’ve said goodbye.” 

Reaching around you found your dressing gown, pulling it on and tying up the front, “Remember me, once and a while. Please, promise you’ll try...” 

Your words faded off as your sat down at your vanity, beginning to brush out your hair. 

“Where is your red scarf Miss (y/l/n)? I hope you haven’t lost it. Not after all the trouble I went through to retrieve it for you.” 

You turned to see a tall dark hair man standing in the doorway, a grin spreading across your face as he continued, “I was only 14 and soaked to the bone...” 

“Because you ran into the sea to fetch my red scarf!” You exclaimed, jumping up and flinging your arms around him excietedly, “Sapnap! How I’ve missed you!” 

He chuckled, pulling away, and offering you a single red rose, “(y/n)... Little Lotte let her mind wander...” 

“You remember that too?” You asked with a giggle. 

Sapnap smiled and kept singing, “Little Lotte thought: am I fonder of dolls,” 

“Or of goblins or shoes?” You joined in, “Or of riddles of frocks, or chocolates.” 

“Those picnics n the attic...” He reminisced. 

You closed your eyes, remembering those long ago days, “Father playing the violin.” 

“As we read each other those dark stories of the north.” 

“No what I like best, little Lotte said, is when I’m asleep in my bed,” You sang, “And the angel of music sings songs in my head!” 

“The angel of music sings songs in my head.” He repeated softly. 

You smiled at him, an excited fond feeling forming in your stomach as you sank back into your chair,  “Father said, when I am in heaven child I will send the angel of music to you. Well now father is dead, Sapnap. And I have been visited by the angel of music.” 

“Well that is very evident,” He chuckled, taking your hands, “Your performance was wonderful. And now, we shall go to supper.” 

“Oh- sapnap I can’t, the angle of music is very strict.” 

He didn’t seem to understand the urgency in your voice as he laughed again, “Well I shant keep you up late.”

“No- Sapnap, things have changed-”

“You have to change,” He interrupted, “And I have to grab my hat. Two minutes little lotte.” 

As he went out the door you cried after him, “Sapnap! Thing have changed Sapnap!”

But he was out of earshot, and the voice that had become so familiar to you was booming, “Insolate boy! This Slave of fashion basking in your glory! Ignorant fool! This brave young suitor, sharing my triumph!”

“Angel I hear you! Speak, I listen! Stay by my side and gude me!” You begged up to the ceiling, “Angel my soul was weak! Forgive me! Enter at last master!”

“Flattering child, you shall know me, see why in the shadow I hide, look at your face in the mirror, I am their inside!” 

The voice sounded closer now, and you couldn’t help but look around, “Angel of music! Hide no longer!” 

You turned again, finding yourself face to face with what seemed like a mask, floating in your mirror, “Come to me, strange angel!”

“I am your angel! Come to me angel of music!” 

A shadowy figure seemed to appear behind the smiling mask, a hand outstretched to you. In a daze you stood, grabbing his hand and allowing him to lead you away down a dark pathway.

“Who’s voice is that?” Sapnap asked, knocking on the now closed door, “(y/n) who’s in there?” 

“Come with me angel of music!” Dream, the Phantoms voice echoed again. 

“(y/n)!” 

~~

“In sleep he came to me, the voice which calls to me and speaks my name!” You moved quietly through the passages, following Dream, “And Do I dream again? for now I find, the phantom of the opera is there, inside my mind!” 

“Sing once again with me our strange duet! My power over you grows stronger yet! And though you turn from me to look behind, the phantom of the opera is there! Inside your mind!” He sang, turning back to make sure you were following once more.

The walls of the tunnel seemed to widen, and you could almost make out an empty candle lit space. 

You reached out, fingers almost brushing the edge of his cloak, “Those who have seen your face draw back in fear! I am the mask you wear..”

“It’s me they hear...” 

As you emerged into a cross roads of the tunnels, you sang in tandem, “Your (my) spirit and your (my) voice in one combined, the phantom of the opera is there, inside your (my) mind!” 

He helped you into the boat that waited in one tunnel, before casting off, propelling the boat down the slow moving current, “In all your fantasies, you always knew the man and mystery...” 

“Were both in you....” You sang softly as the boat came to dock in a wide chamber.

Slowly you climbed out of the boat after him, looking around the dank space, and at the organ in the corner. 

Dream pulled off his cloak, “And in this labyrinth where the night is blind..”

“The Phantom of the opera is there! Inside my mind......” 

~~

As the people downstairs argued, you tried to think over what had happened. Was it a dream? It didn’t seem like it, but still, a man appearing in her looking glass? Taking her away and singing words of praise, words of love, words that made nearly no sense now that it was day, and a haze covered your memory. 

The one thing that remained clear was the monster she had found beyond the mask.

All too soon it seemed you were being rushed into rehearsals, being told you no longer had a speaking role, as Hannah had returned, and was back to her diva ways. 

Rehearsals that would normally drag on seemed to go quicker now, and soon you and the rest of the girls were getting ready for the performance. 

“This is ridiculous,” Niki muttered as she adjusted her costume, “You should be playing the duchess, not Hannab.” 

“Hannah is the featured soprano. She’s always the lead.” You retorted. 

“But how will Sapnap know to look for you in the chorus?” Niki teased.

You elbowed her, laughing lightly, “Shut up. Besides I doubt the phantom would let him see me again.”

The show had gone well, at least until the fifth scene. 

All the music stopped abruptly as a voice boomed, “Did I not instruct that box five was to be left empty?”

“He’s here: The Phantom Of The Opera!” Niki cried from offstage. 

Your head jerked up to turn and look at the audience, “It’s Dream!” 

“Your part is silent, you toad!” Hannah snapped. 

From somewhere up in the audience Dream frowned, “A toad Madame? Perhaps it is you who is the toad...” 

Hanna opened her mouth to continue on her script, but no sound seemed to come out, save for what was close the a croak. 

The men who had bought the opera house, Wilbur and Tommy were coming rushing down from their box, “Ladies and gentlemen we apologize! The performance will continue in ten minutes time, with Miss (y/l/n) as the duchess!”

Tommy nodded as Wilbur finished, “And for now, we will give you the ballet, from act three of tonight's show!” 

The ballet didn’t last long, as when you returned to the wings dressed for the new role you had been given, someone let out a horrified scream.

“What the-” 

You were cut off as you looked up to see Shlatt, the stagehand in charged of the curtains, hanging from the rigging, a noose fully tightened around his neck. 

“Ladies and gentlemen remain calm! It was just an accident- remain calm!” Someone shouted. 

Through the darkness you could make out Dream’s menacing figure, the smiling mask watching you threateningly as you clamped your hand over your mouth to stop the scream that had ripped at your throat. 

“(y/n)? (y/n) are you alright?” Sapnap had run down onto the stage in all the chaos. 

“We- we have to get out of here,” You choked, grabbing his hand, “We aren’t safe here.” 

He didn’t seem to understand the reason behind your panic, but even so he offer you his arm, “Lets leave then.” 

~~

Twenty minutes later you ended up in an empty park, the panic that filled your chest not yet fading as Sapnap asked, “Why have you brought me here?”

“We can’t go back there!” You exclaimed. 

“But we must return.” He gripped your hands, “Darling their bound to be missing you.” 

You shook your head, “Sapnap- He’ll kill you! His eyes will find us there!” 

“(y/n), don’t say that! It’s okay (y/n), it’s okay!” 

You looked up into the darkened sky, “No it’s not- no it’s not- Those eyes that burn!” 

“Don’t even think it!” He cried desperately. 

You couldn’t tell whether you were trembling from fear, or from the cold, as you sang, “And if he has to kill a thousand men....” 

“Forget this waking nightmare!” Sapnap insisted. 

“....The phantom of the opera will kill.” You sang distractedly. 

He gripped your shoulders, “This phantom is a fable, (y/n), believe me!” 

“And kill again....” You shuddered at the idea of Dream doing anything to Sapnap. 

Both of you sang, “God who is this man, who hunts to kill? (this mask of death?)

“I can’t escape him!” You cried. 

He shook his head, “Whose voice is it you hear...”

“...I never will!” 

“With every breath?” 

His grip on your shoulders tightened, pulling you closer to him as you both sang, “And in this labyrinth where light is blind, the phantom of the opera is there, inside my (your) mind!”

“There is no Phantom of the Opera!” 

“Sapnap- I’ve been there, inside his world of never ending light! To a world where daylight dissolves into darkness, darkness! Sapnap I’ve seen him!” You cried. “Can I ever forget that sight? Can I ever escape that face? So distorted, disformed it was hardly a face!  in the darkness, darkness. But his voice filled my spirit with a strange, sweet sound in that night there was music in my mind And through music my soul began to soar! And I heard as I'd never heard before!” 

“What you had was a dream and nothing more!” 

You could hardly look up at him, “yet in his eyes was all the sadness in the world! Those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore!” 

“(y/n), (y/n)!”  Sapnap exclaimed. 

“.....(y/n)......” A different voice seemed to cry into the night. 

You gasped, pressing yourself against Sapnap, “What was that?” 

He hugged you tightly, before pulling back and singing gently, “No more talk of darkness, forget these wide eyed fears. I’m here, and nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you.” 

You relaxed into his grip, listening to his quiet voice, “Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears, I’m here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you.” 

“Say you love me, every waking moment. Turn my head and talk of summer time,” You looked up at him, biting your lip, “Say you need me now and always, promise me that all you say is true, that's all I ask of you.” 

“Let me be your shelter, let me be your light, you are safe, no one will find you. Your fears are far behind you.” He assured you, smiling softly. 

 “All I want is freedom, a world with no more night. And you to always be beside me, to hold me and to hide me.” You admitted. 

Sapnap’s smile grew wider, “Then say you’ll share with me, one love, one life time. Let me lead you from your solitude. Say you need me here, beside you. Anywhere you go let me go too, (y/n), that's all I ask of you.” 

“Say you’ll share with me, one love, one life time,” You repeated, “Say the word, and I’ll follow you.” 

“Share each day with me, each night, each morning.” You sang together as he leaned down to rest his forehead on yours.

“Say you love me?” 

He smiled, whispering, “You know I do.” 

“Love me- that's all I ask of you.” You both sang, before he leaned in to gently press a kiss to your lips, “Any where you go, let me go too. Love me- thats all I ask of you.” 

Sapnap kissed you again, before pulling away, “We could go anywhere- we could be married! You would marry me, yes?” 

“Oh, yes, Sapnap, yes I would. If you’d have me.” You nodded, eagerly. 

He grinned, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You couldn’t help but giggle, before turning back toward the direction of the opera house, “I must go back, they’ll wonder where I am. Wait for me Sapnap!” 

“(y/n), I love you!” He exclaimed. 

“Wait for me, Sapnap. Order your finest horses and being waiting by the door.” You could go back, and continue working at the opera house, there was nothing left for you to fear while Sapnap was there.

“And soon you’ll be beside me!” He chuckled.

You grinned, “To guard me and too guide me!” 

Sapnap offered you his arm again, and you headed off out of the park, toward the opera house. 

Slowly, Dream slinked from the shadows where he had watched the proposal, “I gave you my music, made your song take wing. And now your repaid me, denied and betrayed me.” 

He groaned running a hand through his hair, “He was bound to love you, when he heard you sing. (y/n)- oh (y/n)-”

He was cut off by the sounds of your voices drifting down the street, Say you’ll share with me, one love, one life time, Say the word, and I’ll follow you. Share each day with me, each night, each morning.”

Dream’s hands flew to his ears, desperate to block out the sounds- he had been so sure that you could’ve loved him, but now Sapnap was stealing you away. 

“You will curse the day you did not do, all that the phantom asked of you!” He bellowed. 

~~

The following weeks at the opera house were a blur of panic masked by busyness, Wilbur and Tommy refusing to let the disaster of the chandelier falling from keeping the company from working on their next performance. 

You kept on working, the ring on the chain Sapnap had given you around your neck helping you to feel safe, even as the chorus girls cited the Phantom for the cause of all the distress. 

Now you were back in your dressing room, getting ready for dinner with Sapnap.

“Wander child, so lost, so helpless,” A soft voice seemed to drift down from no where, “Yearning for my guidance.” 

You looked up at the ceiling, “angel or father? Friend or phantom? Who is it their staring?” 

“Have you forgotten your angel?” The voice murmured, Dream appearing once again in your mirror. 

You turned to him, almost in a trance, “angel, oh, speak, what endless longings, echo in this whisper.” 

Sapnap, having arrived to the opera house appeared in the door, watched as you moved toward the phantom. 

“Too long you’ve wandered the winter...” Dream continued to sing, hand outstretched to you. 

“Once again she is his.” Sapnap sang, as you started to cross the room toward the mirror where the phantom stood. 

“...far from my far reaching eyes.” 

“Wildly my mind beats against you....” You sang, transfixed. 

Behind the mask Dream grinned, “You resist. Yet your soul obeys.” 

“Once again she returns, to the arms of her angel. Angel or demon? Still he calls her, luring her back from the grave. Angel or dark seducer? Who are you strange angel?” Sapnap sang, again, more to himself than you or Dream. 

Dream beckoned you forward again,  “I am your angel of music, come to me angel of music!”

“Angel of darkness, cease this torment!” Sapnap exclaimed, moving into the room properly and drawing attention to himself. 

Dream unbothered, continued to sing, “I am your angle of music! Come to me angel of music!” 

“(y/n), (y/n) listen to me! Whatever you may believe- this thing, this man is not your father!”  Sapnap yelled, “(y/n)! Let her go! For gods sake let her go!” 

Jarred by his sudden yell, you turned, the trance broken, “Sapnap...” 

Dream, unimpressed, began to clap, deadpanning, “Bravo monsieur. Such spirited words.” 

“No more tricks monsieur!” Sapnap yelled, stepping forward to put himself between you and Dream. 

“Oh, but that's not any fun. Why don’t you come closer, sir? Keep coming this way.” 

Sapnap, not liking to be challenged, stepped forward, “You cannot win her love by holding her prisoner!” 

“No- Sapnap don’t!” You grabbed his hand, pulling him back. 

He nodded resolutely, gripping your hand as you both moved toward the door, “Lets go then, no more time will be spent with this monster.” 

“Don’t go!” Dream wailed as you hurried away down the hall, “Now let it be war upon you both!” 

~~

Something was going wrong, of course it was, because when was it not?

Your entrance in Don Juan Triumphant had gone according to plan, but the man who had stepped out as Don Juan was not George, as it should have been.

You steeled yourself, trying to come up with a logical reason.

George must have gotten sick, and a stand in had taken his place, yes that must be it.

“Past the point of no return, no backward glances, the games we played till now, are at an end.” The man sang, “Past all thought of ‘if’ or ‘when’, no use resisting, abandon that thought and let the dream descend.”

Your panic seemed to rise, the double meaning in his words filling you with dread.

“What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire locks the door? What sweet seduction lies before is? Past the point of no return, the final thread hold. What unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return.”

You moved carefully to your next mark, trying to work out who it was in George’s place, “You have brought me, to the moment when words run dry, to the moment when speech disappears into silence, silence.

I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why, in my mind I already imagined, our bodies entwined. Defenseless and silent, now I am here with you, no second thoughts, I’ve decided, decided.”

You just barley stopped from trembling as you realized, it was Dream, “Past the point of no return, no going back now. Our passion play has now, at last, begun. Past all thought of right and wrong. One final question: how long should we two wait, before we’re one?”

“When will the blood being to race? When will the sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames at last consume us?” You finished, taking an only slightly shaky breath.

The phantom grabbed your hand as you both sang, “Past the point of no return, the final threshold. The bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn, we’ve past the point of no return!”

Everyone in the audience seemed to hold their breath, they too knew that this was not George. The cloak that had hidden Dreams mask fell, and they gasped upon seeing the plaster smiling face.

He grinned behind the mask, and punctuated, “Say you’ll share with me, one love, one lifetimes lead me, save me from my solitude.”

The words stung even before he pulled out a ring, holding it out to you, “come with me, or this whole place will come down upon us.”

Slowly you looked to the audience, Sapnap was standing in the isle, looking worried.

You couldn’t let him get hurt.

You nodded reluctantly, as he continued, “say you want me by your side anywhere you go let me go too, (y/n) that’s all I ask of-“

Slowly, you reached up, pulling the mask off his face, revealing the terribly scared face to the world.

The gasps turned into horrible screams as a curtain was raised, and Georges body tumbled onto the stage.

Almost immediately Dream flung his cloak around you, disappearing.

Sapnap ran up onto the stage, along with the crew, police officers and other patrons.

“Sapnap! Sapnap you’ve got to come with me!” Eret cried, rushing out onto the stage.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Sapnap!” They yelled again, “I know where they are!”

“But can I trust you?” He demanded.

She nodded, “yes, and remember, keep your hand up at eye level.”

“Why?”

“Punjab lasso.” Was all he offered in explication as he led Sapnap away.

~~

Soon enough Sapnap was creeping through the shadows of the phantoms layer, watching as he tried to place a wedding veil on your head, “Too bad pity comes to late, turn around and face your fate, an entirety of this before your eyes!”

You turn to face him, looking up at the mess of scares that cover his face, “this haunted face holds no horror for me now, it is in your soul that the true distortion lies.”

The phantom turned suddenly, to Sapnaps hiding place, “Wait! I think, my dear, we have a guest! Sir, this is indeed an unparalleled delight! I had rather hoped that you would come And now my wish comes true— you have truly made my night!”

“Free her!” Sapnap yelled, stepping into the light, “do what you want to me but let her go!”

“Your lover makes a passionate plea.” Dream laughed at you.

“Sapnap it’s useless!” You cried.

Sapnap shook his head, “I love her! Does that mean anything To you? I love her! Show some compassion!”

“The world showed no compassion to me!” Dream retorted.

He reached out toward you, “(y/n), (y/n), please let me see her!”

Dream grinned maliciously, “be my guest.”

Sapnap rushed forwards, as Dream contiued to taunt, “Monsuier, i bid you welcome, did you think that I would hurt her? Why should I make her pay, for the sins which are yours?” 

As he finished the last words the Punjab lasso came sailing out, and Sapnap barley had time to fling his arm back up as he was dragged back, the only thing keeping him from hanging being the fingers he’d wrangled between the rope and his neck. 

“No!” You cried, struggling to your feet. 

“Order your fine horses now!” Dream yelled, “Nothing now can save you, except maybe... (y/n).” 

You stood, shaking as he turned to you, “Start a new life with me- buy his freedom with your love! Refuse me now and send your lover to his death! This is the choice, this is the point of no return!” 

“(y/n), forgive me, please forgive me, I did it all for you, and all for nothing.” Sapnap sang, looking at you desperately.  

At the same time you turned toward Dream, “Farewell my fallen idol, and my false friend, one by one my delusions shattered.” 

“Too late for turning back, too late for prayers and useless pity!” Dream sang.

“{all hope of cries for help, no point in fighting!} (say you love and my life is over, either way you choose, he has to win!) {for ether way you choose, you cannot win! So do you end your days with me or do you send him to his grave?}”

“Why make her lie to you, to save me?” Sapnap yelled. 

You looked between them desperately, “Angel of music..... {past the point of no return!} (For pity’s sake (y/n) say no! Don’t throw your life away for my sake!) Who deserves this? When will you see reason? {The Final threshold! His life is now the prize you must earn! You’ve passed the point of no return....}”

You looked at Dream, no longer trying to hide the fear that coursed through your veins, “Angel of music, you have deceived me, I gave myself blindly to you.” 

“You try my patience! Make your choice!” Dream yelled. 

Looking back at sapnap for a moment you stepped forward, whatever it would take, you would keep him safe, “Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known? God give me courage to show you, you are not alone.” 

Reaching out, you took the mask from his hand, tossing it to the side as he moved closer to you as well. 

Before you could hardly blink he was kissing you, and with little more than a second thought you kissed back. 

Sapnap watched, in partials horror, until the phantom drew back, shaking as he whispered, “No one has ever kissed me- not even my own mother.” 

You nodded, and then suddenly Dream began to move across the room, grabbing a knife from somewhere as he stalked up to Sapnap.

He paused for a beat, and you could feel the terror in the room- until he slashed at the rope, and Sapnap fell the ground. 

You rushed over to him, kneeling beside him, “Sapnap! oh Sapnap!” 

“Take her,” dream wailed, “Take her and forget me, forget all of this! Leave me alone- forget all you’ve seen....”

Sapnap struggled to his feet, holding you close to him as he backed towards the channel. 

“Take the boat, leave me here, go now, please!” 

The sounds of the mob looking for Georges murderer seemed to grow louder as they grew closer.

“Hurry! Now before its too late!” Dream yelled. 

Sapnap hurriedly started to help you into the boat, but you pulled away, moving back to the Phantom, long enough to hand him the ring. 

Then you were off, turning to Sapnap as the current carried the boat away, “I’m sorry Sapnap- I couldn’t let him hurt you- I couldn’t!” 

“Shhh. It’s alright (y/n), it’s alright. He can’t hurt you anymore.” He murmured, pulling you into his arms.

“Say you’ll share with me, one love one lifetime.” You sang shakily.

Sapnap nodded, “Say the word and I’ll follow you.”

“Share each day with me, each night, each morning...” The sounds of your voices traveled back up the tunnel for Dream to hear. 

He sighed, looking resolutly into the distance, “You alone can make my song take flight- It’s over now, the music of the night!”